The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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In recent times, there has been an increasing number of
people
driving a car
on roads and this
figure has drastically grown compared to 1888, when the first car
was introduced. Under the circumstances, there has been contention over whether public transport and laws should be introduced to prevent this
movement. I firmly believe that we must regulate car
usage considering the impact on the environment
as well as
the well-being of human beings.
First and foremost, excessive usage of cars has a detrimental effect on the environment
. There is ample evidence stating that carbon dioxide released from vehicles is the main attribution to global warming, which is a pressing issue that we need to address. If we kept driving a car
as frequently as we do now, it would cause havoc on the sustainability of the earth, resulting in irrecoverable damage. Thus
, there is a strong linkage between vehicle usage and the protection of the environment
.
Another important aspect is that people
’s sedentary lifestyle has been elevated at a warning rate. The simple reason is that more and more people
commute by car
even though it is not necessarily far distance. As a result
of this
, people
do not have enough opportunities to be engaged in any physical activities including walking, which leads them to lack exercise. In general, the more vehicles people
have, the more unhealthy they become.
In conclusion, in order to prevent the environment
and our health from deteriorating, I strongly argue that it is crucial to implement some regulations to discourage people
from utilising vehicles.Submitted by artical5er7 on
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introduction conclusion present
You provided a clear introduction and conclusion which is good, but you can improve the effectiveness of both by directly answering the question in the introduction and reiterating your position in the conclusion.
logical structure
The essay generally has a logical structure. To improve, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences which clearly signal the main point of each paragraph.
supported main points
You have supported your main points, but to strengthen your essay, ensure all paragraphs are fully developed with specific examples and consequences. You could also consider providing a balanced argument by discussing potential drawbacks of regulation or reasons why some may oppose it.
complete response
You addressed the task and presented a clear position throughout the essay. To score higher, ensure that you address all parts of the question by considering both the necessity to encourage alternative forms of transport and the introduction of international laws.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and relevant, but for a higher score, work on thoroughly developing your ideas with more comprehensive explanations and a wider range of vocabulary.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples are present, although they could be more specific. Try to use real-world statistics or case studies to support your arguments which would make them more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.