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Band 7

As parents, they should be required to attend parenting courses every year to bring up their children well and give them a better environment for growth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#parents #courses #year #children #environment #growth
It is widely believed that
parents
 have to join annual parenting classes to learn about how to nurture their
children
 appropriately.
While
 I agree that these lessons might provide useful scientific knowledge, I would
also
 argue that
parents
 do not need to attend every year as they can gain it from other sources. It is essential to require
parents
 to take part in rearing training courses, especially a year before they have a baby. In terms of the scientific aspects, these courses might provide up-to-date and comprehensive knowledge,
for example
 in the form of psychological and physical stages of child development, which has been researched thoroughly by charismatic scientists.
Parents
 might
also
 benefit from listening to
such
 common mistakes which happened to other people to avoid these analogies. These are compelling reasons to say that
parents
 could find the most suitable method to bring up their
children
 in the initial period
as well as
 in the long run.
On the other hand
, I believe that
parents
 must not register for parenting courses annually because they could learn from their mothers or neighbours who have had practical experience. Granted, one might argue that elders' experience could be old-fashioned to adopt in modern life.
However
, those dealt with the same challenges in nurturing young people, so they actually could give advice on how to give
children
 an optimum environment for growth. Every couple of
parents
 have the responsibility for analyzing whether
this
 advice would be well or not by preferencing other resources
such
 as their friends, and co-workers or verifying them on the Internet. In conclusion,
although
 the importance of attending parenting classes can be not refuted, I think there is another measure to support
parents
 in providing the best conditions for their
children
.
Submitted by phuongdong.nguyentran on

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Task Achievement
Work on developing ideas more deeply and incorporate a wider range of specific examples to strengthen main points and support the argument. Ensure each paragraph remains focused on a single main idea and that examples provided are directly relevant to the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of the essay by using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas more effectively. Aim for clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and ensure a smooth flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next. Additionally, refine the conclusion to make it a definitive summary of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Developmental Milestones
  • Nurturing
  • Parent-child Rapport
  • Non-violent Discipline
  • Child Welfare
  • Empathy
  • Cognitive Growth
  • Pedagogical Support
  • Resilience
  • Socioeconomics
  • Family Dynamics
  • Adolescent Psychology
  • Behavioral Patterns
  • Proactive Parenting
  • Contemporary Issues
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