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Writing Samples
Band 7

The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made overseas travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

#cost #decade #travel #trend
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Over the
last
 10 years, the cost of aviation has significantly decreased.
As a result
,
this
 has caused a rise in overseas
travel
.
This
 essay will discuss both the
advantages
 and disadvantages of
this
 trend. There are two main
advantages
 associated with increased overseas travelling. One of the biggest
advantages
 is that it has become more available to
people
 who couldn’t afford expensive aeroplane tickets before. In the past, aeroplane tickets were very costly for those who had low income but since it became cheaper it became more available to those kinds of
people
.
This
 led to them getting an opportunity to
travel
 abroad for the first time in their lives. Another benefit is that
people
 can now visit their families more often. Those who
travel
 once a year can now go abroad more often to meet their relatives.
This
 will benefit the airlines as well. The more tickets that will be sold, the more income the airlines will generate.
Although
 the
advantages
 are significant, the drawbacks can’t be ignored. The biggest disadvantage is that since the demand for overseas
travel
 will increase, more aeroplanes will be needed to meet
this
 demand.
As a consequence
,
this
 will have a negative effect on the climate. If there are more aeroplanes in the air, more greenhouse gases will be released into the air causing climate change around the world. In conclusion, one cannot disregard the disadvantage of climate change that more overseas travelling will cause. Even if there are more
advantages
 of
this
 trend: greater accessibility to
people
 who haven’t travelled outside their hometown before and greater frequency in the sales of overseas travelling, the disadvantages can’t be ignored.
Submitted by alizeh.adnan on

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Coherence Cohesion
There is a well-defined structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but transitions between points could be smoother. Improve logical flow by using a wider range of cohesive devices and more clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
Task Achievement
Respond completely to all parts of the task by providing a more balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages. Develop ideas more thoroughly with further detail and explanation, and ensure that each main idea is expanded with specific examples and relevant details.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Cross-cultural understanding
  • Tourism boost
  • Carbon emissions
  • Environmental degradation
  • Overtourism
  • Local resources
  • Infrastructure strain
  • Travel accessibility
  • Economic backgrounds
  • Commercialization
  • Dilution of local cultures
What to do next:
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