Some people think that government should ban dangerous sports while others think people should ha e freedom to do anysports or activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some concerned parties
belive
that there should be Correct your spelling
believe
ristriction
on some dangerous Correct your spelling
restrictions
restriction
sports
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
agrue
that people should have their own choice to play any game whichever they like. Correct your spelling
argue
agree
This
essay will discusses
both views and give my own opinion.
Talking about Change the verb form
discuss
sports
, they play an
vital role in every person's life from childhood to adulthood. Change the article
a
Number
of students in their school days choose some Change the article
A number
The number
sports
as their profession by playing different types of games and ending up coosing
one as their passion. They pursue Correct your spelling
choosing
this
as career
and try to Add an article
a career
acheive
their dream through their Correct your spelling
achieve
choseen
games. These Correct your spelling
chosen
such
choices intrinsic them to more Correct quantifier usage
apply
concentate
and Correct your spelling
concentrated
concentrate
passonate
Correct your spelling
passionate
about
their future rather than wasting their time Change preposition
on
in
clueless aims. Change preposition
on
Moreover
, folks can learn various skills number of sports
and become physically fit. Therefore
, having chance
to play various Add an article
the chance
a chance
sports
can build they
physical Correct pronoun usage
their
fit
and help them to be specific about what they like or not.
On the other side, some activities are harmful for students like bullfighting, mountain racing, motorbike stunting, Replace the word
fitness
rally
racing which can take Correct word choice
and rally
people
Change noun form
people's
life
. they are harmful Fix the agreement mistake
lives
for
both physical Change the preposition
to
as well as
mental health. For instance
, last
year in Japan more than dozen
of participants and Correct article usage
a dozen
auidence
died during rally racing Correct your spelling
audience
due to
rough
stunt Correct article usage
a rough
of
Change preposition
by
racer
. Correct article usage
a racer
Thus
, higher authorites
should implement some Correct your spelling
authorities
restriction
on some Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
life threatening
activities.
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
To conclude
, I belive
that youngsters should have Correct your spelling
believe
freedom
to do any activity alongside some rules and Add an article
the freedom
regulation
to follow. Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
However
, goverments
have all their Correct your spelling
governments
rightd
to avoid worse Correct your spelling
rights
right
incident
Fix the agreement mistake
incidents
to happen
by playing rough Change preposition
from happening
sports
.Submitted by sehajpreetself11 on
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task achievement
The essay adequately introduces both viewpoints and provides a conclusion but lacks a clear, individual opinion. It is recommended to state your position more explicitly, ensuring that it is relevant throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The logical flow of the essay is somewhat disrupted by grammatical errors and misspellings. To improve, focus on proofreading and use transition words to enhance coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
lexical resource
There are numerous spelling mistakes ('belive,' 'ristriction,' 'agrue,' 'passonate,' etc.) and grammatical errors which hinder the clarity and precision of your message. Aim for a variety of sentence structures and accurate use of vocabulary to enhance your essay's quality.
grammatical range
Grammatical range is limited due to recurring errors. Practice using complex sentence structures correctly, ensuring subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms. Avoid overusing simple sentences and incorporate a mix of complex grammatical constructions to improve your score.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.