Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #space #exploration #waste #governments #benefit #nation

Along with

the development of advanced technologies, scientists exploring

space

have emerged widely and a lot of people are arguing about the financial aid which

government

put into

space

exploration

projects

Moreover

, some believe that the

government

should spend the money on other sectors as

health

care and infrastructure developments

instead

space

projects

. I personally agree that the

government

should spend more on

projects

like public

health

care and education. It is well known that the

government

budget is finite and it is not possible for the

government

to fund the same amount for every project at the same time. So, the

government

should fund

projects

based on results orientated as free public

health

care which will have a more positive impact on the public than funding

space

research where we cannot predict the outcome.

Moreover

, investing in educational tools

such

as computers, school labs and libraries will have a better impact on our future generation who will lead our country one day.

On the other hand

, there is no doubt that

space

exploration brings improvements to today's technologies and innovation.

Moreover

, there are numerous useful things developed because of massive investment in

space

research.

For instance

, we can cite spirographic pens, microwave ovens, and satellite communication. And the best example of development is the huge evolution in advanced computers within the

last

few decades.

To conclude

, even though investment in

space

research brings good advantages, the

government

should invest more in sectors like public

health

and education for people where these areas need more urgent investments as the priority for people lies in these sectors.

Submitted by laishweyee91 on Tue May 07 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your views on the importance of funding health care and education over space exploration. Real-world instances or data could enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures more to improve readability and engage your readers better. Using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences can make your essay more dynamic.

Coherence & Cohesion

To strengthen coherence, ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within it directly support that idea. Transition words can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.

Coherence & Cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your essay and position on the topic.

Task Achievement

You successfully brought in some examples of technology advances due to space exploration, showing the benefits of such investments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

complete waste
benefit the nation
technological advancements
foster
international cooperation
inspire
engage
boost the economy
long-term benefits

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Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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