IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that history provides little or nothing to us, while others argue that we must learn history to understand the present. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #history
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People always say that we should remember
history
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. We learn
history
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 from childhood, but we can not go back to the past.
However
Linking Words
, whether
history
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 can give us experience and lessons is what we should think about, especially its impact on the present. We have to admit that
history
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 may not provide us as much as we have expected. There are so many different genres people are facing in
this
Linking Words
fast-pacing
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
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 era.
For example
Linking Words
, in the past, we may ask the elder generations or the prestigious institute for help with some very specific problems. Some may use books from Confucius to pursue help.
However
Linking Words
, no more can most of them be reliable or useful today
.
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?
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 We can use the Internet to locate one who is in charge of what we are looking for. The government
also
Linking Words
 provides us with a route to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Mr. Right.
Thus
Linking Words
, we gain little from
history
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.
Wars
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 in the past were fought over resources and
land
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. When launching
wars
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 today, we can
also
Linking Words
 seek
answers
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 from
land
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 and resources.
For example
Linking Words
, in the world, the
wars
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 in the Middle East are for resources,
while
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 the
wars
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 among
neighboring
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neighbouring
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 countries with some
land
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 conflicts are for
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land
Add an article
the land
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. These have evolved countless times in
history
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, and we can apply them to our understanding of today's world. Despite all these, I still think we really can learn from the
history
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 and to understand the present. Most of the time we are deceived by the veil on
this
Linking Words
 surface. But in fact, if we break them down and see the root, we move suddenly to realize what is new or not new and everything in the sun is too old.
For example
Linking Words
, just like the problems we are meeting, we may ask
for
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apply
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some new people or new institutes for
answers
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, but these
answers
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 are more or less the same as the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
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. If we have not only won the road
,
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apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 the
answers
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, we may find that we can voluntarily
to
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apply
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know what is going on. We do not need to find the answer. The answer is in the
history
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 book.
Submitted by guojiajie622 on

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task achievement
Ensure that the introduction sets a clear framework for the ensuing discussion and includes a thesis statement that reflects an understanding of all parts of the question.
task achievement
Work on developing clear main ideas in each paragraph, substantiating them with specific and relevant examples.
task achievement
Wrap up the essay with a conclusion that summarises your main ideas and clearly states your position on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Create a more logical structure by organizing information and ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesion by using a range of cohesive devices effectively, such as conjunctions, reference words, and sentence connectors.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central theme or argument that is developed coherently and connected to the overall purpose of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • insights
  • progression
  • values
  • beliefs
  • heritage
  • identity
  • applicable
  • biased
  • subjective
  • practical
What to do next:
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