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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that space exploration is a waste of resources while other thinks that it is essential for the human kind to continue to explore the universe in which we live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

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It is true that nowadays countries are working to discover
space
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; some argue
that is
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 a waste of time and money,
whereas
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 others believe it is crucial for humans to be aware of the universe they live in.
However
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, there are both positive and negative aspects of
space
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 exploration to be considered before deciding whether it is beneficial or not. On the one hand, the greatest advantage of discovering
space
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 is that it can boost the economy. It is often observed that the
space
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 industry creates jobs in many fields,
such
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 as computer science and physics, which
also
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 have a positive impact on private sector investments.
According to
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 a new report from McKinsey, the
space
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 industry is growing by 9% annually.
Consequently
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, exploring
space
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 has led to new discoveries and technological advancements.
This
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 is highly beneficial for the economy.
However
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,
on the other hand
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, the main drawback of
space
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 exploration is the huge cost involved. It is common knowledge that travel to
space
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 costs more than millions of dollars. The same amount of money could help to solve many problems on Earth
such
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 as poverty in developing countries, and improve healthcare, and education.
This
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 clearly has a massive impact on Earth issues that have a connection with people’s lives. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the advantages of
space
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 exploration are definitely greater than the disadvantages because it affects the economy through job creation and private sector investments.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, consider adding more specific examples to support your points. This will provide stronger evidence for your arguments and make them more convincing.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on both views before giving a conclusion. This would offer a more balanced discussion and comprehensive response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensuring smooth transitions will enhance the overall readability and coherence of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion effectively.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported, and there's a logical structure to the overall essay, making it easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enormous expenditure
  • pressing issues
  • proportion
  • scientific discoveries
  • technological advancements
  • resource limitations
  • overpopulation
  • habitable planets
  • international cooperation
  • unifying endeavor
  • innovation
  • boost the economy
  • job creation
  • private sector investments
  • critics argue
  • benefits gained
  • space industry
  • potentially offer solutions
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