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Band 7

Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. Others, by contrast, are worried that we are not prepared for a world in which computers are more intelligent than humans. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

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Recent decades have witnessed the ever-increasing revolution of artificial intelligence with various cutting-edge items.
While
 some consider the development a positive milestone, others are concerned about possible negative consequences that
people
 must cope with when AI products are out of humans’ control.
This
 essay will discuss both sides of the argument and explain why its advantages are superior. On the one hand,
It is clear that
 the intelligence of technology plays a crucial role in enhancing human work performance. Machines are able to multi-task better than humans can, especially in areas that require high levels of accuracy or calculations using large amounts of data.
For example
, robots are being developed to carry out surgical procedures with greater precision.
Such
 technologies can improve safety by reducing the likelihood of human errors.
Moreover
,
people
 can save a significant amount of time by using various AI software to complete writing assignments. Noticeably, Chat GPT has been becoming a sought-after tool for many students and researchers to collect data or brainstorm ideas.
On the other hand
, I share the concerns of
people
 who believe that artificial intelligence may harm us in some circumstances. In the short term, It is likely that we will see an increase in unemployment as workers in different industries are replaced by machines or software programs.
For example
, self-driving vehicles are expected to cause redundancies in driving jobs. It is a fact that we may find that
people
 become deskilled and lose their sense of purpose in life if intelligent technologies gradually take jobs away from humans. A longer-term fear is that computers become too intelligent to make decisions without human supervision. In conclusion,
while
 intelligent machines will no doubt improve our lives in many ways, the potential risks of
such
 technologies should be seriously considered.
Submitted by oanhhkpsy on

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task achievement
Your essay adequately discusses both sides of the argument regarding artificial intelligence and provides a personal opinion, fulfilling the requirements of the task. However, for a higher score, providing a more nuanced personal response with additional specific examples and exploring the implications of these developments would enhance the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate ideas, which aids in following the logical progression. To improve coherence, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs more clearly. Make sure each main point is fully developed and connected to the subsequent ones for added cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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