Some people argue that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others believe that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In regards to
Job
satisfaction and levels of personal income, there are two kinds of prospects. There is a group which prefers to go on with one particular job
and tries to endure negative aspects of their profession such
as having a demanding job
or lack of money supplies. on the other hand
, there are employees who always tend to improve their career position. In this
essay, I will consider both points of view and introduce my standpoints.
Starting the discussion with people
who keep on a particular job
for a long time regardless of cons of it. People
usually tend to work in order to broaden their horizons, gain lots of experiences or knowledge and improve their social skills by being around other people
or building new relationships as well as
, making good money to have a better life
. As each of these factors couldn't fulfil an employee, job
dissatisfaction will appear. Consequently
, people
should tolerate their demanding job
and as it goes there would be more risk of wasting their time and energy. Even though the first group can have a less risk-taking personality every little change in their profession would scare them. Maybe they are afraid that their current job
will be unachievable if they try to stick their neck out and experience new ways.
On the other side of the argument, There are workforces who always want to level up their job
. They are usually motivated and fearless people
who can take risks and benefit from transformation , especially in their careers . Although
the first steps of the change need to consider different aspects such
as pros or cons or spending significant time to make the right decision, after that if they decide to go to the next chapter of their work life
it would be much more beneficial to them and they would enjoy a better life
. For instance
, when you start a new job
the job
situations may be suitable for you in that phase of your life
. But after a while
, as you experience teamwork with your colleague you become disappointed with their bad teamworkwork
Correct your spelling
teamwork
playing
and you can't achieve your goals Verb problem
apply
as a result
. In that situation, this
group of employees prefer to enhance their work environment by moving to other offices.
To put it in a nutshell, in my opinion, people
who have a strong sense of responsibility could be a good risk takers
in regard to changing their career and as they consider every aspect of their decision, can often take the benefits of it and experience a better work-Correct the article-noun agreement
a good risk taker
good risk takers
life
balance.Submitted by shabnamoutokesh on
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coherence cohesion
There is an attempt to structure the essay with the introduction, main body, and conclusion. However, the introduction could be clearer and the conclusion needs to be more explicit and summative of the main points discussed.
coherence cohesion
Main points are touched upon, but they need to be developed further with clearer topic sentences and more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay partially addresses the task, attempting to discuss both views and providing an opinion. The task would be fully achieved by expanding on the ideas, providing more detailed examples and ensuring a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The arguments are somewhat represented but need to be articulated in a more comprehensive way. Be sure to fully explore each point of view with clear, focused, and elaborate ideas.
task achievement
Specific examples are sparse and somewhat generic. Enhance your essay by including more detailed and directly relevant examples to support your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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