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Band 6.5

International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Are the problems than international travellers cause greater than the advantages they bring？ Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge of experience.

#tourism #industry #world #travellers #bring？
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Nowadays, travelling abroad is the most popular activity in the world and it has become a huge industry.
However
, it can lead to advantages and disadvantages for some countries. In my opinion, I believe that can bring more advantages than drawbacks. On the one hand, there are many advantages of international tourism either to the country which they are travelling to or to the tourists.
Firstly
, the expansion of their culture and local stores and cuisine in order to encourage more people to learn about their history.
For example
, if someone travels to a place, he or she may share status about which famous building they have visited, what kind of local dishes they have tried or what
souvenir
Fix the agreement mistake
souvenirs
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 could get in order to encourage people to visit there.
Secondly
, the region where you visit can get a great number of revenue from their visitors, whether from restaurants, stores, agencies, transportation, etc .
Finally
, visitors can open their views and meet new places
On the other hand
, the increase
of
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in
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 citizens travelling abroad can lead to some drawbacks. Some misbehaviour of someone in another country could leave a bad impression on others, or vice-versa.
Moreover
,
this
 action might increase the rate of local crime. Some local criminals observe the opportunity to steal tourists because they will go back soon to their city and they will not pursue so much and will keep it going. In conclusion, I think international tourism benefits both countries by enhancing their relationships and sharing culture despite some shortcomings that could break some people's impressions.
Submitted by rachel131 on

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Introduction
Ensure that your introduction sets a clear tone for the essay. Outline your argument effectively so the reader knows what to expect.
Logical Structure
Improve the logical structure by ensuring that paragraphs are internally cohesive and the transition between them is smooth.
Supported Main Points
When making main points, support them with more detailed examples or evidence that are directly relevant to the topic.
Complete Response
To fully respond to the task, ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed with a well-balanced discussion of issues.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas comprehensively. Avoid superficial treatment of the topic. Expand more on the impact of tourism, both positive and negative.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Incorporate examples that are specific and relevant to the topic to illustrate your points better and make your arguments more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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