As countries develop, many people are able to purchase a car. Do you think that the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?
Since the industrial revolution, the number of
car
usage
has been skyrocketing, in particular
, developed nations. Under the circumstances, while
people
’s lifestyles are benefitted by usage
of cars
, there has been growing concern about the environment. This
essay will argue that people
need to prioritise environmental issues more than the benefits of car
usage
, as it will cause an irrecoverable situation on our planet.
Owning a car
can provide individuals with a great deal of freedom. Without a car
, people
would spend a significant amount of time commuting to work, going grocery shopping, and taking a trip. This
is because there would be mainly two options that they can select (either walking or utilising public transport), which often takes far longer time than driving. Even if you were to reside in close proximity to a bus stop or station, you would still need to adjust to the timetables. Additionally
, you would experience a sudden halt of transport, resulting in turning to a taxi to travel to a destination. However
, having a car
could address all possible troubles because you can leave home whenever you are ready, which means you will receive a considerable level of convenience.
Nevertheless
, excessive usage
of cars
is opposed to sustainable practice. To begin
, cars
consume one of the crucial finite resources, fossil fuels. Not only will fossil fuels be a risk of running out in the near future, but they will also
accelerate carbon emissions, which will negatively contributing
to global warming. Change the verb form
contribute
be contributing
Furthermore
, global warming will pose a dire threat to the loss of a wide range of diversity, leading people
to have difficulty accessing sufficient food and resources that are available now. Although
these problems appear to be negligible as it stands, they will manifest on the global scale incrementally. Once they develop, it would be irrecoverable to back to the original state.
In conclusion, while
I must acknowledge that cars
can supply people
with comfort and convenience drastically, I still contend that we need to consider the negative influences on the environment, as it will cause unpleasant consequences including a lack of resources, climate change, and diverse species.Submitted by artical5er7 on
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Task Response
To improve Task Response, while you've effectively addressed both sides of the argument and provided a clear opinion, incorporating a broader range of specific examples and data could further solidify your positions. This will not only support your claims more convincingly but also demonstrate a wider understanding of the topic. For instance, when discussing the environmental impacts, mentioning specific studies or statistics on carbon emissions and their effects could strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, your essay presents logical argumentation and structure, which is commendable. However, to further refine this aspect, consider varying your transitional phrases and employing them more frequently to ensure smoother flow between ideas. Additionally, a more explicit link between paragraphs could be beneficial. For instance, when transitioning from the advantages of car ownership to the environmental disadvantages, a sentence that subtly shifts the focus while acknowledging both points can enhance the overall fluidity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.