Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

#people #life #money

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Some individuals argue that happiness is mainly achieved by having a bunch of money.

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is because having a lot of money provides

people

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with various life choices. Other than

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, folks can be happy by being surrounded by their loved ones and having their dream jobs. Having wealth allows

people

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to have flexible choices for their lives.

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is to say, they can pursue their dream without having to worry about their necessities

such

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as paying bills and affording prestigious university degrees. Some teenagers may want to pursue higher education.

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, because they suffer from financial difficulties they might have to work directly rather than continue their study.

People

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who own sufficient wealth will not have to worry about

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, they can have broader options, especially when they want to study abroad.

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, many Indonesian young adults whose families are rich often get their bachelor's degrees in developed countries.

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, those who grow up in a mediocre family often go to local universities. Another situation that brings happiness is being surrounded by a supportive family.

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is because having emotional support from a father and mother will bring out good values. When

people

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face difficult challenges in life, they become more motivated and strive to tackle the difficulties because they have their support systems.

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, landing a dream job

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aligned with one’s passion is a privilege.

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is because

people

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tend to be more persistent and positive about their lives. They are happier compared to those who are forced to do tasks they do not have any passion for.

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, research shows that 80% of employees do not work in their desired fields and they do not love their current jobs

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they are more depressed. In conclusion, possessing a great amount of money enables individuals to make better choices in life. Other conditions that promote happiness are having support from loved ones and securing the desired jobs.

Submitted by intanannisa.ia on Sat Dec 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay presents a reasonable structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, it lacks complex structures and transitional phrases to guide the reader smoothly between points.

task achievement

The main idea is presented, but further development is needed. More comprehensive elaboration on how wealth contributes to happiness and detailed examples would enhance the argument.

8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial security
Basic needs
Comfort
Luxury
Freedom
Altruistic
Philanthropy
Nurturing relationships
Fulfillment
Sense of accomplishment
Physical well-being
Spiritual beliefs
Community involvement
Gratitude
Mindfulness
Simple pleasures

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Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

You have recently migrated to another country. Now write this letter to your friend to describe your present life. In your letter say.. When you have moved to this country Why you chose this country How things are now for you

What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?

Some people believe teenagers should concentrate on all subjects, even ones they do not enjoy. Others, however, believe that teenagers should only focus on the subjects they are bast at or find most interesting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the future, there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries. Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?