Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Some individuals argue that happiness is mainly achieved by having a bunch of money.
This
is because having a lot of money provides
people
with various life choices. Other than
this
, folks can be happy by being surrounded by their loved ones and having their dream jobs. Having wealth allows
people
to have flexible choices for their lives.
This
is to say, they can pursue their dream without having to worry about their necessities
such
as paying bills and affording prestigious university degrees. Some teenagers may want to pursue higher education.
However
, because they suffer from financial difficulties they might have to work directly rather than continue their study.
People
who own sufficient wealth will not have to worry about
this
, they can have broader options, especially when they want to study abroad.
For example
, many Indonesian young adults whose families are rich often get their bachelor's degrees in developed countries.
Whereas
, those who grow up in a mediocre family often go to local universities. Another situation that brings happiness is being surrounded by a supportive family.
This
is because having emotional support from a father and mother will bring out good values. When
people
face difficult challenges in life, they become more motivated and strive to tackle the difficulties because they have their support systems.
In addition
, landing a dream job
that is
aligned with one’s passion is a privilege.
This
is because
people
tend to be more persistent and positive about their lives. They are happier compared to those who are forced to do tasks they do not have any passion for.
For example
, research shows that 80% of employees do not work in their desired fields and they do not love their current jobs
thus
they are more depressed. In conclusion, possessing a great amount of money enables individuals to make better choices in life. Other conditions that promote happiness are having support from loved ones and securing the desired jobs.
Submitted by intanannisa.ia on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a reasonable structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, it lacks complex structures and transitional phrases to guide the reader smoothly between points.
task achievement
The main idea is presented, but further development is needed. More comprehensive elaboration on how wealth contributes to happiness and detailed examples would enhance the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
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