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Band 7

SUCCESS IS OFTEN MEASURED IN TERMS OF HOW MUCH MONEYSOMEBODY HAS EARNED DO YOU THINK WEALTH IS A GOOD MEASURE OF SUCCESS? HOW ELSE COULD WE MEASURE WHETHER SOMEBODY IS SUCCESSFUL OR NOT?

#success #terms #moneysomebody #wealth #measure #somebody
There are various means through which achievement is been measured.
However
, some weigh successful folk by the extent of wealth in their savings. In
this
 essay, I will explain why cash should not be used to determine the level of success and
also
 discuss other ways an individual's wealth can be measured. Generally speaking, many people concluded that anybody with a large chunk of funds in his possession or bank account is considered to be successful,
however
, the volume of funds any person controls should not be a determinant of success. Accumulation of cash is one of the ways to measure and not the only standard to determine if any citizen has made it in life.
Moreover
, many individuals with a lot of affluence in their accounts may have borrowed it from financial institutions to execute one business or the other. The richest man in North Africa in the year 2005
according to
 Forbes categorization fell to number ten immediately after the bank withdrew the funds lent to him to discharge a national project.
Although
 an individual's financial record is one of the measuring criteria, there are other ways achievement can be ascertained. The primary of them is considering individual investment in other sectors. A lot of business folk invest their capital in various sectors as a way of putting their richness to work for them
whereas
 in their savings a very small volume of cash is kept there.
Secondly
, Analyzing
assets
 owned by an individual is another way of checking to know how successful an individual is. Many individuals use their capital to buy
assets
 in the form of buildings in highly expensive areas, industries and companies are other forms of fixed
assets
 that should be considered whether an individual is rich or not and not the statement of account. In conclusion,
although
 many families consider financial capability as a means to measure an individual's affluence,
however
,
assets
 and investments declaration are two better-weighing balances to pronounce the success of folk.
Submitted by tunjosh2 on

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task achievement
Ensure each main point is supported with relevant and strong examples to make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Clarify some of the points in the body paragraphs to ensure clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument effectively.
task achievement
You address multiple ways to measure success, showing a good range of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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