Some people think that global environment problems shold be dralt with internationally. Others, however, believe that they have to be tackled domestically. What is your opinion?

According to
some, global environmental
problems
have to be tackled globally,
while
others believe that they should be solved domestically. In my opinion, I consider that global environmental issues should be dealt with internationally to avoid the negative influence in the future. The first reason is that global warming affects all
countries
around the world and needs a joint effort to tackle it.
In other words
, the international conference ought to implement some strict rules which can reduce the causes of global warming.
For example
, the emission of greenhouse gasses must be decreased in all
countries
.
Therefore
, there needs to
share
Wrong verb form
be shared
show examples
effort from all
countries
to solve and reduce the danger of
this
problem. Another point is that tackling environmental
problems
is a financial burden many
countries
can not afford on their own. To put it simply, some special devices which are related to the environment are so complicated and they are difficult for poor
countries
to get them.
Hence
, joining many
countries
to tackle
this
problem would provide the ability from the financial side.
Finally
, air pollution and marine pollution affect more than one country at a time. To illustrate, some environmental issues influence a large area of land which includes some nations. So, these affected
countries
should join together and help each other to solve these
problems
.
To sum up
, to have an obvious positive effect on global environmental
problems
, many
countries
have to join together to tackle these
problems
.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
would be dire consequences to the Earth if governments did not solve the environmental
problems
.
Submitted by asomm5563 on

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task achievement
Ensure a balanced approach to the discussion of global vs. domestic efforts in addressing environmental issues, reflecting both views before stating a personal opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Include a more diverse range of sentence structures and transitional phrases to enhance readability and flow of ideas.
task achievement
Provide clearer and more specific examples to support the arguments being made, ensuring these examples are directly relevant to the points being discussed.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international collaboration
  • global cooperation
  • climate change
  • deforestation
  • water scarcity
  • pollution
  • shared resources
  • knowledge exchange
  • unified policies
  • local governments
  • communities
  • regional challenges
  • local regulations
  • tailoring solutions
  • immediate change
  • visible change
  • balance of approaches
  • domestic policies
  • frameworks
  • local adaptation
  • success stories
  • global actions
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