Obesity has been found to be a serious health hazard the world over, over the past few decades. What are the causes behind it? What are the effects of it on various sections of the community?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A large
number
Use synonyms
of people have suffered from obesity over the past few decades because of the sedentary lifestyle and the change in our eating habits.
This
Linking Words
problem could lead to serious heart issues
such
Linking Words
as heart diseases, which in turn may
impact
Use synonyms
the
number
Use synonyms
of effective
workers
Use synonyms
in our society. The prime cause of increasing the
number
Use synonyms
of obese individuals is the sedentary lifestyle. Many employees today spend the majority of their time sitting on their desks
while
Linking Words
working.
This
Linking Words
could lead to a decrease in their physical activities as they do not do any work that requires physical movements.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these
workers
Use synonyms
are more suspectable of having obesity than other people.
Additionally
Linking Words
, another reason is an increased demand for junk
food
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
food
Use synonyms
has a lot of calories and processed fat, which is responsible for raising the body's weight.
For example
Linking Words
, America has a significant growth in the
number
Use synonyms
of overweight teenagers because they rely on fast
food
Use synonyms
as the main source of their nutrients.
Hence
Linking Words
, the government should implement strict roles on manufacturers or producers to mitigate the amount of unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
. There is a correlation between obesity and other health problems
such
Linking Words
as cardiovascular illnesses. By increasing the
number
Use synonyms
of unhealth individuals, sectors that require healthy
workers
Use synonyms
, who are fit and can work effectively, would have a significant
impact
Use synonyms
. Obese
workers
Use synonyms
may
impact
Use synonyms
the company's income, as they cannot work effectively.
Thus
Linking Words
, companies, that have a large
number
Use synonyms
of obese
workers
Use synonyms
, their productivity will drop significantly. In the long run,
this
Linking Words
could lead to a negative
impact
Use synonyms
on the country's economy. In conclusion, there is a huge increase in the
number
Use synonyms
of obese people. In my opinion, the main reason behind
this
Linking Words
issue
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the sedentary lifestyle as many jobs do not involve any physical movements,
also
Linking Words
there is a massive change in our eating habits.
This
Linking Words
problem could lead to a significant burden on our society by decreasing the
number
Use synonyms
of effective
workers
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure to address aspects of the question more directly, especially the effects on different community sections.
task achievement
Try to provide a more diverse range of examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Enhance transitions between ideas for smoother reading.
coherence cohesion
Elaborate more on the impacts across different sectors to provide a comprehensive view.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the arguments well.
coherence cohesion
The main points are logically structured and easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay addresses the causes of obesity with detailed explanations.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: