Some people think that the main factor influencing a child’s development these days are things such as tv, friends and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a topic to be discussed by many
people
that is
what mainly influences a child
's growth, social media
and friends
, or family. I think the former is a more important factor because they are full of people
's lives and both influence
a child
and his family.
Social media
is full of people
's living environment. It is everywhere in people
's daily life and people
cannot get away from it. Everyone can come across advertisements through television, radio or mobile phones, which could stimulate people
's desire for consumption and even deliver a new consuming view to a child
. Similarly
, a child
's friends
can also
affect a child
's view such
as what the popular music now, who is the internet celebrity, and what types of dress or making up way are more fashionable etc. Those factors influence
a child
every day and he/she would follow them automatically.
However
, some individuals might argue that the family is still the most important factor in influencing influence
a kid. This
is because the child
is starting to imitate parents
when he/her was born. A lot of behaviour of a person would be like his/her parents
. I agree with that. Nevertheless
, as I mentioned earlier, the environment can influence
everyone, which means not only children child
but also
adults including children's parents
. Many parents
' views and behaviour could also
be changed by social media
and their friends
, and further
influence
their children's development.
To conclude
, I believe that although
the family is an important factor in influencing influence
the development of a child
, it does not mean that it is more important than social media
and friends
, because the latter could both influence
a child
and adults of a family and promote their change.Submitted by temurbekberdiyev78 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure and Clarity
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph should focus on one main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'however,' 'on the other hand') to connect ideas within and across paragraphs effectively. However, avoid overuse or misuse.
Task Response
Expand your task response by providing more detailed examples and explaining how they specifically relate to the topic. Both views should be discussed equally, and your opinion should be clear throughout the essay.
Grammar and Accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and spelling to ensure clarity and accuracy. Review basic sentence structures and punctuation rules.
Vocabulary Range and Accuracy
Use varied vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetitions. Consult a thesaurus and read widely to build vocabulary.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!