Some people think that the main factor influencing a child’s development these days are things such as tv, friends and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a topic to be discussed by many
people
Use synonyms
that is
what mainly influences a Linking Words
child
's growth, social Use synonyms
media
and Use synonyms
friends
, or family. I think the former is a more important factor because they are full of Use synonyms
people
's lives and both Use synonyms
influence
a Use synonyms
child
and his family.
Social Use synonyms
media
is full of Use synonyms
people
's living environment. It is everywhere in Use synonyms
people
's daily life and Use synonyms
people
cannot get away from it. Everyone can come across advertisements through television, radio or mobile phones, which could stimulate Use synonyms
people
's desire for consumption and even deliver a new consuming view to a Use synonyms
child
. Use synonyms
Similarly
, a Linking Words
child
's Use synonyms
friends
can Use synonyms
also
affect a Linking Words
child
's view Use synonyms
such
as what the popular music now, who is the internet celebrity, and what types of dress or making up way are more fashionable etc. Those factors Linking Words
influence
a Use synonyms
child
every day and he/she would follow them automatically.
Use synonyms
However
, some individuals might argue that the family is still the most important factor in influencing Linking Words
influence
a kid. Use synonyms
This
is because the Linking Words
child
is starting to imitate Use synonyms
parents
when he/her was born. A lot of behaviour of a person would be like his/her Use synonyms
parents
. I agree with that. Use synonyms
Nevertheless
, as I mentioned earlier, the environment can Linking Words
influence
everyone, which means not only children Use synonyms
child
but Use synonyms
also
adults including children's Linking Words
parents
. Many Use synonyms
parents
' views and behaviour could Use synonyms
also
be changed by social Linking Words
media
and their Use synonyms
friends
, and Use synonyms
further
Linking Words
influence
their children's development.
Use synonyms
To conclude
, I believe that Linking Words
although
the family is an important factor in influencing Linking Words
influence
the development of a Use synonyms
child
, it does not mean that it is more important than social Use synonyms
media
and Use synonyms
friends
, because the latter could both Use synonyms
influence
a Use synonyms
child
and adults of a family and promote their change.Use synonyms
Submitted by temurbekberdiyev78 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure and Clarity
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph should focus on one main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore,' 'however,' 'on the other hand') to connect ideas within and across paragraphs effectively. However, avoid overuse or misuse.
Task Response
Expand your task response by providing more detailed examples and explaining how they specifically relate to the topic. Both views should be discussed equally, and your opinion should be clear throughout the essay.
Grammar and Accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and spelling to ensure clarity and accuracy. Review basic sentence structures and punctuation rules.
Vocabulary Range and Accuracy
Use varied vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetitions. Consult a thesaurus and read widely to build vocabulary.