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Band 6.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
In today’s world, the majority of
people
 already have an awareness of many environmental
issues
, especially the extinction of flora and fauna since it is always reported on television or social media. Meanwhile, some
people
 think that there is a wide range of environmental problems that are more crucial than the disappearances of plants and animals. In my opinion, both of the
issues
 have the same importance to our nature. On the one hand, flora and fauna as living creatures definitely have their own role in their own food chain, it generates balancing in
people
’s natural lives. To illustrate, poaching that causes the extinction of birds leads to increased rat populations and indirectly affects the local farmers, which can damage their cropland, and cause the failure of harvest. It
also
 decreases the earnings of the farmers, pushes them into poverty, and generates an economic issue.
On the other hand
, related to the loss of plants, deforestation is not merely about the environmental things
such
 as the melting of ice caps, but
also
 has domino effects on health
issues
, since it degrades the air quality and causes some
people
 to have breathing problems. The other case is global warming, which
also
 happened because of deforestation.
Hence
, many
people
 have big concerns about the loss of species of flora and fauna, and the environmental problem is always connected to each other, it has domino effects on other environmental
issues
 or even outside the environmental things.
To sum up
, environmental
issues
 are always linked to each other, and that’s why all of the
issues
 have the same positions, there is no less or more important.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
While you have addressed both views and provided a clear conclusion, your own opinion could be more extensively argued to provide a more robust perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally has a clear progression of ideas. However, ensure that your introduction and conclusion are not only present but also serve to effectively frame your argument.
task achievement
You provided some relevant examples but they could be developed further or supported by more explicit evidence. Try to include more concrete statistics or case studies to fortify your argument.
coherence cohesion
Continue to develop logical structure by explicitly outlining main points and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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