IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The diagram illutrates the process of dough production. Summarize the information in 150 words.

#illutrates #process #dough #production #information
The diagram shows the first industrial process of
dough
 manufacture. There are three stages involved, including the pre-production, production, and post-production stages.
First,
the pre-manufacturing stage begins when the three main ingredients,
such
 as flour, water, and yeast are poured into an industrial mixer to be mixed evenly. After the raw ingredients are mixed, the
dough
 will enter the production stage. In
this
 phase, the
dough
 is fermented either naturally or by adding additives in a glass jar with a solid lid.
Then
, it will be processed in a dividing machine to be divided into pre-determined weights.
Next,
it is pushed by a plunger so that it moves to the rotating cylinder to be shaped into a round form perfectly.
Lastly
, in the post-production stage, the finished
dough
 is forwarded to a conveyor belt for
further
 processing. In conclusion, the process of bread
dough
 manufacture is a simple one
that is
 capital intensive.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
Ensure all parts of the process are clearly described for full task achievement. Consider elaborating on machinery if mentioned or implicit.
coherence cohesion
Enhance clarity by making sure every step is distinctly described and logically flows.
task achievement
Overall, the description of the dough production process is clear and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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