Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same fashions, advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Globalisation blurs the line between many communities and brings both benefits and drawbacks. The matter is that people have the same trends and habits in daily life facets like fashion, diet and media. Some might perceive
this
march negatively due to
the loss of the original identity of nations although
I presume that overall
, the advantages definitely outweigh the disadvantages.
Indisputably, negative consequences naturally appear as more countries share a homogeneous culture and, greater a loss of uniqueness. Take the example of South Korea, which had an essential impact on the United States of America due to
industrialization, and now presents a small amount of folk arts and customs. A similar trend is noticed in Kazakhstan, where the Western concept of individualism turns foreground than traditional values. In addition
, it is also
exacerbated by lingua franca languages. Society strives to acquire high-level English or Spanish but a mere few of them can boast fluency in their native language.
Despite the fact that it might sound counterintuitive, the main merit is that the public does not have uphill struggles. Indeed, the fashion industry looks for ethnic style and collaborates it with modern trends. Also
because of the popularity of cinematography, residents detect distinctive features of small local autonomies. Hence
, they get a deep insight into behaviours and seem to be tolerant. When it comes to nutrition, it helps deprived ones to get accustomed to a well-balanced diet, as new kinds of greens and fruits show up in regional stores.
In conclusion, the interconnectedness of countries in cultural aspects is inevitable. Although
demerits can not be overlooked in this
serious discussion, I believe that in the end pros outweigh all the potential cons as the world is open to every nation and respects its values.Submitted by zhanerkenakhshbek on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a clear and logically structured argument, effectively addressing the question at hand. To enhance clarity, consider using more varied transitional phrases between paragraphs and within them to better signal the relationship between ideas.
task achievement
You’ve made excellent use of specific examples to support your arguments, which has greatly strengthened your essay. However, remember to ensure that these examples are fully developed and clearly linked back to your main arguments to maintain strong coherence throughout.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly stating your opinion and summarizing the key points made in the body of the essay. To further refine your essay, make sure your conclusion effectively synthesizes your arguments without introducing new information.
task achievement
The essay effectively covers both the advantages and disadvantages of the trend towards global homogenization, maintaining a balanced and comprehensive discussion throughout.
clear comprehensive ideas
You demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic by effectively integrating relevant examples from various countries, which adds depth to your argument.
logical structure
Your essay is well-organized, with a logical structure that guides the reader through your arguments in a coherent manner. This is greatly beneficial for reader engagement and understanding.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
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