IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, university courses are a good option for students who want to build a stable career.
While
Linking Words
 some decide to spend full-time studying, others say they may do extra action too. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 view, as participating in diverse activities not only enhances soft skills but
also
Linking Words
 contributes to personal growth and well-being. It is undeniable that university study provides students with the fundamental knowledge and technical skills needed in their chosen fields.
For example
Linking Words
, engineering or medical admission requires deep subject expertise, which can only be gained through intensive academic work. A student who dedicates time to mastering their major is more likely to perform well in technical job roles, especially in highly competitive industries.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, focusing solely on academics may not be sufficient in today’s dynamic job market. Employers increasingly value soft skills
such
Linking Words
 as communication, teamwork, and leadership, which are often developed outside the classroom.
For instance
Linking Words
, participating in group projects, volunteering, or joining student clubs helps participants build interpersonal techniques that are critical in the workplace. A recent study found that graduates who engaged in extracurricular activities had higher employment rates than those who only focused on academics.
Additionally
Linking Words
, engaging in non-academic exercise promotes a healthier lifestyle and prevents burnout. Joining sports teams, music clubs, or cultural societies provides people with a balanced routine and opportunities to socialize, reducing stress. These experiences not only enhance emotional intelligence but
also
Linking Words
 help people become more well-rounded individuals, better equipped to face real-world challenges. In the end,
while
Linking Words
 academic dedication is crucial for university students, I strongly believe that engaging in other activities is equally important. A combination of solid academic knowledge and well-developed soft ability creates more adaptable, confident, and employable graduates.
Therefore
Linking Words
, universities should encourage entrance to balance their studies with extracurricular involvement for long-term personal and professional success.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects to your argument. Use topic sentences to help guide the reader through your points.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, you can briefly restate your main points or present a strong final thought to make a lasting impact.
task achievement
Expand on your examples slightly. Giving more details will help the reader understand your points better and show your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly connect your ideas back to the question in each paragraph to stay focused on the topic throughout.
task achievement
You have effectively recognized the importance of both academic and extracurricular involvement for students' development.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents clear arguments and a logical flow, making it easy to follow your thought process.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time university students
  • engage in activities
  • well-rounded skill set
  • employers seek candidates
  • excel academically
  • soft skills
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • extracurricular activities
  • relieve stress
  • mental health
  • work-life balance
  • cultural awareness
  • social skills
  • inclusivity
  • time management skills
  • allocate time efficiently
  • academic achievement
  • detract from studies
What to do next:
Look at other essays: