IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

University education is often seen as a key stepping stone to building a successful career. It is true that full-time students spend most of their time studying
while
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 many argue that they should engage in extracurricular activities. I strongly agree with
this
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 view, as participating in a variety of non-academic pursuits not only enhances soft skills but
also
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 contributes to personal growth and well-being.
To begin
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 with, university study provides students with the foundational knowledge and techniques needed in their chosen fields.
For example
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, engineering or medical entrance requires deep subject expertise, which can only be gained through intensive academic work. A student who dedicates time to mastering their major is more likely to perform well in technical job roles, especially in highly competitive industries. That being said, focusing solely on academics may not be sufficient in today’s dynamic job market. Employers increasingly value soft skills
such
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 as communication, teamwork, and leadership, which are often developed outside the classroom.
For instance
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, participating in group projects, volunteering, or joining student clubs helps participants build interpersonal accomplishments that are critical in the workplace.
As a result
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, a recent study found that graduates who engaged in extracurricular activities had higher employment rates than those who only focused on academics.
Furthermore
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, engaging in non-academic activeness promotes a healthier lifestyle and prevents burnout. Joining sports teams, music clubs, or cultural societies provides participants with a balanced routine and opportunities to socialize, reducing stress. These experiences not only enhance emotional intelligence but
also
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 help one become a more well-rounded individual, better equipped to face real-world challenges. In conclusion,
although
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 academic dedication is crucial for university students, I strongly believe that engaging in other activities is equally important. A combination of solid academic knowledge and well-developed soft skills creates more adaptable, confident, and employable graduates.
Therefore
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, universities should encourage them to balance their studies with extracurricular involvement for long-term personal and professional success.

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Task Achievement
The introduction clearly states your position, which is great. However, you could strengthen your thesis by briefly mentioning the specific activities you think students should engage in.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your main points are logical and relevant. To improve coherence, use more transition words to guide the reader through your ideas, like ‘firstly’, ‘moreover’, and ‘finally’.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your conclusion, reiterate the importance of balancing academics with other activities, perhaps by emphasizing the benefits once more. This will strengthen your final message.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant examples that support your points, which is essential for making your argument convincing. This showcases your good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • full-time university students
  • engage in activities
  • well-rounded skill set
  • employers seek candidates
  • excel academically
  • soft skills
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • extracurricular activities
  • relieve stress
  • mental health
  • work-life balance
  • cultural awareness
  • social skills
  • inclusivity
  • time management skills
  • allocate time efficiently
  • academic achievement
  • detract from studies
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