The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by providing at least six years of free education for each child, so that all children can read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is commonly implied that guaranteeing primary school
education
remains free would augment access to
education
. Some have proposed that
this
would be a particularly
effectual
Replace the word
effective
show examples
solution to
poverty
. I completely agree with
this
suggestion and in the subsequent paragraphs, I will delineate why the assured provision of free primary
education
will alleviate
poverty
.
Firstly
, financial constraints deter several students from continuing their
education
.
Therefore
, making the government sponsor elementary schooling would assist in curtailing the school drop-out rates. It would
also
provide a solution to child labour and delinquency.
Furthermore
, research shows that developing countries suffer from alarming rates of unemployment. So, providing free primary
education
could not only empower the students to get better jobs but
also
open up several job opportunities in the
education
sector, thereby reducing joblessness.
Secondly
, providing schooling would enable individuals to acquire skills and training they would not
otherwise
receive.
This
would later help them gain better jobs and become efficacious, well-rounded citizens of the country. Providing free
education
would help individuals have a more promising outlook on their future and promote a positive attitude towards society.
This
would
also
encourage them to work towards reducing social problems
such
as
poverty
. Access to
education
also
provides the assurance of an economically secure future, which would
also
eliminate
poverty
.
However
, one could disagree with the aforementioned points stating that there would be a considerable increase in taxation to provide free
education
to all, which may add to
poverty
rather than solve it.
Additionally
, schools might be overcrowded, which would affect the quality of
education
,
thus
further
impacting the students’ job prospects.
Finally
, the provision of free
education
with only limited jobs may only increase competition and job insecurity, adding to deprivation. In conclusion, I believe that providing free elementary
education
free of charge can offer a long-term solution to developing economies because it may abate the problem of relinquishing their chance at a better future
while
also
aiding children to hone and acquire a range of new skills and abilities.
Submitted by phuongdong.nguyentran on

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Task Achievement
Your essay exhibits a clear position throughout, aligning well with the requirements of the task. You've sufficiently developed your main points, though your arguments could be more compelling with the introduction of more specific examples and data.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have organized your essay logically, with a clear introduction and conclusion. Your ideas progress in a coherent manner, although, to enhance cohesion further, you can make use of a wider range of linking words and phrases to better signal the connections between ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy
  • numeracy
  • economic growth
  • skilled workforce
  • investment
  • employment opportunities
  • break the cycle of poverty
  • informed decisions
  • healthcare
  • infrastructure
  • access to technology
  • stable governance
  • challenges
  • cultural barriers
  • free education
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