Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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In our rapidly evolving world, technological advancements are widely used by people of all ages. It is argued that some

children

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kill their time by spending hours every day on their

smartphones

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This

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essay will discuss both why is

this

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the case and the impact of the development. The reasons behind

this

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phenomenon are plentiful; one of them is the contemporary advertising sphere. Advertising is a key part of modern business and should be regulated because advertisers often aim their marketing at

children

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Moreover

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, we now live in a consumer culture,

consequently

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, we are persuaded to follow the latest trends.

Although

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it seems safe, many

children

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around the world have become a victim of consumerism.

For instance

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, the game industry is at its peak nowadays because mainly covers

children

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, who do not know the disadvantages of

this

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. They spend all their time on their

smartphones

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instead

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of going outside. I firmly agree that

this

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phenomenon is a negative development.

Although

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today

such

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smartphones

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play a crucial role because of the age of technology, they stop the personal improvement of

children

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around the globe. It is not a local issue,

this

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is a widely spread problem, which leads to the collapse of humanity's ability to think.

For example

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, music and video games are becoming the drugs of modernity. Research has shown that the average

kind

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kid

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spends more than three hours on

smartphones

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whereas

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in the past

this

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time was spent on outdoor activities.

Furthermore

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this

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sedentary lifestyle may be the cause of many diseases, including obesity and

headache

Fix the agreement mistake

headaches

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. In conclusion,

such

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time-killing leads to

overall

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regression of the population because

children

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are the future of society

therefore

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the future is in their hands.

Also

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, I believe that

this

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phenomenon, caused by consumerism culture, has substantial drawbacks and a potential negative development.

Submitted by ielts8bandplus on Sat Dec 02 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is fully developed and linked to the question. Use cohesive devices appropriately, but beware of overusing them which can make the writing seem mechanical.

task achievement

Focus on expanding and explaining your ideas more thoroughly. Include a balanced view in discussing both sides of the argument, deeper analysis instead of general statements, and use relevant examples to support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Your opinion

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission outweighthe diadvantages ?

Human activity has damaged the environment all around the world. Some people think that humans cannot stop damaging the planet, whereas others believe that we can alter our behavior and prevent future damage. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live or study abroad?

Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligent enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?