Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
Youngsters may sometimes find themselves highly influenced by their peers.
Although
some individuals believe that this
influence is essential, despite the fact that they are overlooking its detrimental effects due to
the following reasons.
To begin
with, youngsters place their peers as the second role model, after their parents. Consequently
, due to
the promising influence, children would not distinguish between the beneficial and deleterious ones, prior to considering their friends as their role models in any situation. Firstly
, involving misconduct taken after their friend will prevent from them reaching their goals. Moreover
, looking up to classmates can lead to severe anxiety. To clarify, establishing a person
with distinct desires and perspectives as a role model will harm the young person
since he cannot be the same as his peer in all the situations, prior to experiencing a high level of stress. To illustrate, scientists have indicated that those who take pleasure in artistry subjects may get used to looking up to a person
who enjoys science and try to reach them which is impossible and could cause a stressful situation,
On the other hand
, some may claim that this
notion would lead to a sense of rivalry, becoming a source of motivation for children. However
, they have overlooked the fact that kids are not mature enough to choose the right person
to compete. Therefore
, if they choose a partner with the least indulgence in personality traits, it would serve them with lower self-discipline rather than a motivational source.
To conclude
, there are numerous disadvantages to this
notion since it can cause anxiety and misbehaviour. In addition
, the advantages of it are too high of a price to be paid.Submitted by mirhashemim7 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by clearly organizing ideas into distinct paragraphs with specific purposes, such as introduction, body paragraphs for pros and cons, and a well-defined conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen your main points with clear, relevant examples. Consider using case studies, statistics or factual information to support your arguments and add weight to your perspective.
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Ensure a complete response by directly addressing the question 'Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?' State your position clearly in the introduction and reaffirm it in the conclusion for a stronger argument.
Task Achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas by expanding on your points with the use of additional details and commentary. Avoid superficial treatment of the subject by providing more in-depth analysis.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples that are directly tied to your arguments. The use of general statements should be minimised in favour of concrete evidence that underscores your stance on the issue.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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