Children have to be educated but they also have to be allowed to learn things by themselves. To what extent do you agree? How will education develop in the future?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays it is usually discussed how children should be brought up. It is often thought that parents and school should prepare them for their future life, but pupils should acquire knowledge independently too.

This

essay will argue why it is completely necessary that children learn new skills on their own to achieve better knowledge. Parents should find a balance between school education and self-experience in their children’s life. First and foremost, kids should be able to follow their passion in order to develop their creativity.

For instance

, they could find out to have a unique talent in art or music.

Furthermore

, teachers should be a guide in pupils' lives, so that young students can improve their motivation and curiosity.

Although

I argue that kids have to be free to learn things by themselves, some people believe that education is essential to introduce scholars to a variety of subjects. Indeed, teachers could provide explanations and support to their students. The future of schooling is likely to be shaped by new technology and advanced teaching techniques. Primarily, learning is going to be more flexible and accessible, thanks to online and blended learning.

In addition

, new subjects are going to be studied,

due to

the new market dynamics. A good example of

this

is soft skills,

such

as communication, empathy and teamwork. In conclusion,

this

essay argues the importance of education and self-taught learning. In my opinion, acquiring different skills by themselves is an absolute imperative in order to develop children’s knowledge. I

also

believe that topics are going to change and evolve in the future years.

Submitted by trrapmala on Sat Dec 02 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion

You need to ensure a clear and logical flow throughout your essay. Develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences, follow on with supporting sentences, and conclude with a summarizing or final thought.

Coherence & Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more impactful by directly addressing the full scope of the question. Restate the question in your own words and clearly delineate your position in the introduction and the conclusion for greater clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

Support your main points with more detailed examples. While your essay mentions general ideas, providing more specific anecdotes or statistics could enhance your argument and illustrate your points more effectively.

Task Achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the task. The question asks to what extent you agree with the statement and also to discuss the future of education. While your essay touches on both, you may need to further develop your response to adequately cover the prompts.

Task Achievement

Enhance the clarity and depth of your ideas. While you present viewpoints on the role of self-directed learning and future educational trends, delve deeper into these concepts by explaining how they interrelate and the implications they have,

Task Achievement

Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument. Generic statements are less persuasive than concrete examples that demonstrate the real-world application or consequences of the ideas you are discussing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

264 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or anegative trend?
Nowadays, some customers prefer to purchase a locally produced goods instead of imported products. I vehemently agree with this statement, as this scenario could not only be beneficial for individual's finanicial situation but also seems beneficial for the progress of any country.
7
band
Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is an opinion that the crucial issue of the current century is the elimination of various types of flora and fauna while others hold contradictory opinions and insist on the existence of more vital ecological concerns. From my perspective, although there are numerous problems connecting our surroundings, vanishing species play a critical role in increasing environmental challenges.
<4
band
Surveillance cameras in banks, offices, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and public, but they are also took for their users to spy on people's private business. what problems do surveillance cameras create? what are the solutions?
Nowadays,camers play curitiul role in protacting people and provide them with save environment. they can use it in different places such as home and work. However,it can be used in bad way to spy on people.
6
band
in the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, malls offer a variety range of facilities and can be a suitable place to hang out with friends or have a family day out .Therefore, people can be entertained alongside shopping.
4.5
band
Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people's interest in famous people in the history of their country?
Nowadays, younger generation prefer to know more about the international popular artists and movie stars rather than about hero or famous people in their history. There are two reasons of this condition which are unawareness and uninterested of the people and then, advices to tackle this situation will be elaborated below.

Children have to be educated but they also have to be allowed to learn things by themselves. To what extent do you agree? How will education develop in the future?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or anegative trend?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Surveillance cameras in banks, offices, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime in the workplace and public, but they are also took for their users to spy on people's private business. what problems do surveillance cameras create? what are the solutions?

in the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people's interest in famous people in the history of their country?