Children have to be educated but they also have to be allowed to learn things by themselves. To what extent do you agree? How will education develop in the future?
Nowadays it is usually discussed how children should be brought up. It is often thought that parents and school should prepare them for their future life, but pupils should acquire knowledge independently too.
This
essay will argue why it is completely necessary that children learn new skills on their own to achieve better knowledge.
Parents should find a balance between school education and self-experience in their children’s life. First and foremost, kids should be able to follow their passion in order to develop their creativity. For instance
, they could find out to have a unique talent in art or music. Furthermore
, teachers should be a guide in pupils' lives, so that young students can improve their motivation and curiosity. Although
I argue that kids have to be free to learn things by themselves, some people believe that education is essential to introduce scholars to a variety of subjects. Indeed, teachers could provide explanations and support to their students.
The future of schooling is likely to be shaped by new technology and advanced teaching techniques. Primarily, learning is going to be more flexible and accessible, thanks to online and blended learning. In addition
, new subjects are going to be studied, due to
the new market dynamics. A good example of this
is soft skills, such
as communication, empathy and teamwork.
In conclusion, this
essay argues the importance of education and self-taught learning.
In my opinion, acquiring different skills by themselves is an absolute imperative in order to develop children’s knowledge. I also
believe that topics are going to change and evolve in the future years.Submitted by trrapmala on
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Coherence & Cohesion
You need to ensure a clear and logical flow throughout your essay. Develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences, follow on with supporting sentences, and conclude with a summarizing or final thought.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be more impactful by directly addressing the full scope of the question. Restate the question in your own words and clearly delineate your position in the introduction and the conclusion for greater clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples. While your essay mentions general ideas, providing more specific anecdotes or statistics could enhance your argument and illustrate your points more effectively.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task. The question asks to what extent you agree with the statement and also to discuss the future of education. While your essay touches on both, you may need to further develop your response to adequately cover the prompts.
Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity and depth of your ideas. While you present viewpoints on the role of self-directed learning and future educational trends, delve deeper into these concepts by explaining how they interrelate and the implications they have,
Task Achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument. Generic statements are less persuasive than concrete examples that demonstrate the real-world application or consequences of the ideas you are discussing.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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