It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is argued that saving
money
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for the
future
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is very important for everyone, including the youth.
This
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essay strongly agrees with the statement because of the unpredictability of the
future
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and its benefits for security in elderly
lives
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.
Firstly
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, saving
money
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is crucial because it is really difficult to predict the
future
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.
While
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the advancement of technology has developed many tools to predict
people
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's
future
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, accidents can still happen and affect
people
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's
lives
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greatly.
Therefore
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, having
savings
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serves as a preparation towards the
future
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and dealing with uncertainty.
For instance
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, many
people
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are willing to pay a lot of
money
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for their insurance, which is seen as a necessary effort to deal with many uncertainties in their
future
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.
Secondly
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, when
people
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become older,
savings
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can lead to a more secure life. As older
people
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have lower levels of energy, they can not work as much as when they are younger. Unless they have passive incomes, they will have to sustain their
lives
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with only their
savings
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.
In other words
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, having secure
savings
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means better purchasing power for their needs, including for treatments when they are sick.
For example
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, the life expectancy rates in many developed countries are higher because of the better pensions that older
people
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have compared to the pensions in developing countries.
To conclude
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,
this
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essay strongly agrees that saving
money
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is important for everyone, including young
people
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.
This
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is because
savings
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are really important for dealing with uncertainty in the
future
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and ensuring better
lives
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for the elderly.
Submitted by aribawadzaki on

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task achievement
To enhance the essay further, additional specific examples or data, particularly in the area of savings for young people, could be incorporated. This will make your arguments more relatable and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all pronouns and subjects are clear to avoid any potential ambiguity, ensuring each sentence clearly reflects the intended meaning.
task achievement
The essay presents a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the unpredictability of the future and the necessity of savings for the elderly.
coherence cohesion
It effectively introduces the topic and summarizes the arguments in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and paragraphing are well-executed, promoting smooth readability.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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