It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is argued that saving
money
for the future
is very important for everyone, including the youth. This
essay strongly agrees with the statement because of the unpredictability of the future
and its benefits for security in elderly lives
.
Firstly
, saving money
is crucial because it is really difficult to predict the future
. While
the advancement of technology has developed many tools to predict people
's future
, accidents can still happen and affect people
's lives
greatly. Therefore
, having savings
serves as a preparation towards the future
and dealing with uncertainty. For instance
, many people
are willing to pay a lot of money
for their insurance, which is seen as a necessary effort to deal with many uncertainties in their future
.
Secondly
, when people
become older, savings
can lead to a more secure life. As older people
have lower levels of energy, they can not work as much as when they are younger. Unless they have passive incomes, they will have to sustain their lives
with only their savings
. In other words
, having secure savings
means better purchasing power for their needs, including for treatments when they are sick. For example
, the life expectancy rates in many developed countries are higher because of the better pensions that older people
have compared to the pensions in developing countries.
To conclude
, this
essay strongly agrees that saving money
is important for everyone, including young people
. This
is because savings
are really important for dealing with uncertainty in the future
and ensuring better lives
for the elderly.Submitted by aribawadzaki on
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task achievement
To enhance the essay further, additional specific examples or data, particularly in the area of savings for young people, could be incorporated. This will make your arguments more relatable and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all pronouns and subjects are clear to avoid any potential ambiguity, ensuring each sentence clearly reflects the intended meaning.
task achievement
The essay presents a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the unpredictability of the future and the necessity of savings for the elderly.
coherence cohesion
It effectively introduces the topic and summarizes the arguments in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and paragraphing are well-executed, promoting smooth readability.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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