Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #years #time #people’s #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #responsibility

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Some argue that the happiest moments in

people

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’s

lives

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are the teenage

years

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while

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others suggest that in spite of greater responsibilities,

adult

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life

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is happier.

Although

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

adult

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life

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is happier in terms of freedom, I believe the care-free attitude during the teenage days makes it more joyful. During

adulting

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adulthood

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people

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enjoy more freedom, which correlates to

happiness

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People

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are not governed by their parents anymore during

this

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time, and legally they are

also

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allowed to do a lot of things, which were not allowed during their childhood. They become independent, work, and lead their own

lives

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at their own pace, thereby providing a sense of fulfilment, leading to

happiness

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For example

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, after turning eighteen, most

people

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across many countries leave their parents and decide to live independently.

This

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gives the

people

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a sense of accomplishment, creating joy in their

lives

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However

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, I believe the joy of

adult

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life

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is short-term and is not

for ever

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forever

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On the contrary

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, teenager’s

care-free

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carefree

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way of living, indeed, creates true

happiness

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, and

such

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a feeling is not felt by

people

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ever again. During the teenage

years

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, generally,

people

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have more friends, which fosters socializing and strong bonds between them. Because the world is small for teenagers, they are protected from the

dark-side

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dark side

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of the world.

As a result

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, almost every moment of their

lives

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is one small burst of

happiness

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For instance

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, a study conducted on a group of

people

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over 50

years

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from the age of 15 till they turned 65 by the University of Cambridge showed that around 90 per cent of these

people

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were happier till 18

years

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age compared to the later

years

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Therefore

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, I believe that it is at

this

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stage of

life

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one

Correct pronoun usage

that one

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experiences true

happiness

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. In conclusion, teenage days are happier because

people

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spend more time with their friends and make memories that

lasts

Change the verb form

last

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forever.

While

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during

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adult

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life

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, the joy of receiving freedom and independence is short-lived.

Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on Wed Sep 25 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Use clearer and more specific transitions between paragraphs to enhance flow.

Task Achievement

Include more specific examples to strengthen arguments.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both perspectives.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

More and more people are eating healthy food and exercise regularly. What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produce locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?