Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some argue that the happiest moments in
people
’s
lives
are the teenage
years
,
while
others suggest that in spite of greater responsibilities,
adult
life
is happier.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
adult
life
is happier in terms of freedom, I believe the care-free attitude during the teenage days makes it more joyful. During
adulting
Replace the word
adulthood
show examples
,
people
enjoy more freedom, which correlates to
happiness
.
People
are not governed by their parents anymore during
this
time, and legally they are
also
allowed to do a lot of things, which were not allowed during their childhood. They become independent, work, and lead their own
lives
at their own pace, thereby providing a sense of fulfilment, leading to
happiness
.
For example
, after turning eighteen, most
people
across many countries leave their parents and decide to live independently.
This
gives the
people
a sense of accomplishment, creating joy in their
lives
.
However
, I believe the joy of
adult
life
is short-term and is not
for ever
Correct your spelling
forever
show examples
.
On the contrary
, teenager’s
care-free
Correct your spelling
carefree
show examples
way of living, indeed, creates true
happiness
, and
such
a feeling is not felt by
people
ever again. During the teenage
years
, generally,
people
have more friends, which fosters socializing and strong bonds between them. Because the world is small for teenagers, they are protected from the
dark-side
Correct your spelling
dark side
show examples
of the world.
As a result
, almost every moment of their
lives
is one small burst of
happiness
.
For instance
, a study conducted on a group of
people
over 50
years
from the age of 15 till they turned 65 by the University of Cambridge showed that around 90 per cent of these
people
were happier till 18
years
age compared to the later
years
.
Therefore
, I believe that it is at
this
stage of
life
,
one
Correct pronoun usage
that one
show examples
experiences true
happiness
. In conclusion, teenage days are happier because
people
spend more time with their friends and make memories that
lasts
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last
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forever.
While
during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
life
, the joy of receiving freedom and independence is short-lived.
Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Use clearer and more specific transitions between paragraphs to enhance flow.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.

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