Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some argue that the happiest moments in
people
’s lives
are the teenage years
, while
others suggest that in spite of greater responsibilities, adult
life
is happier. Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
adult
life
is happier in terms of freedom, I believe the care-free attitude during the teenage days makes it more joyful.
During adulting
, Replace the word
adulthood
people
enjoy more freedom, which correlates to happiness
. People
are not governed by their parents anymore during this
time, and legally they are also
allowed to do a lot of things, which were not allowed during their childhood. They become independent, work, and lead their own lives
at their own pace, thereby providing a sense of fulfilment, leading to happiness
. For example
, after turning eighteen, most people
across many countries leave their parents and decide to live independently. This
gives the people
a sense of accomplishment, creating joy in their lives
. However
, I believe the joy of adult
life
is short-term and is not for ever
.
Correct your spelling
forever
On the contrary
, teenager’s care-free
way of living, indeed, creates true Correct your spelling
carefree
happiness
, and such
a feeling is not felt by people
ever again. During the teenage years
, generally, people
have more friends, which fosters socializing and strong bonds between them. Because the world is small for teenagers, they are protected from the dark-side
of the world. Correct your spelling
dark side
As a result
, almost every moment of their lives
is one small burst of happiness
. For instance
, a study conducted on a group of people
over 50 years
from the age of 15 till they turned 65 by the University of Cambridge showed that around 90 per cent of these people
were happier till 18 years
age compared to the later years
. Therefore
, I believe that it is at this
stage of life
, one
experiences true Correct pronoun usage
that one
happiness
.
In conclusion, teenage days are happier because people
spend more time with their friends and make memories that lasts
forever. Change the verb form
last
While
during the
Correct article usage
apply
adult
life
, the joy of receiving freedom and independence is short-lived.Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Use clearer and more specific transitions between paragraphs to enhance flow.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both perspectives.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.