Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
There are various popular kinds of leisure activities in many countries, one of them is shopping. An activity
such
as shopping will not become popular without a reason. So, in Linking Words
this
essay, I will examine several reasons that support the fact on the positive and negative side. Linking Words
Moreover
, in my opinion, shopping, in the digital era, is indispensable and has become an integral part of human daily life.
On the one hand, shopping would become a positive activity, if the consumers limit their desires in useful things. Linking Words
First,
Linking Words
people
often go shopping because they should Use synonyms
fulfill
their needs. Change the spelling
fulfil
For instance
, buying some clothes or home appliances. Linking Words
Second,
shopping Linking Words
also
helps Linking Words
people
to reduce their anxiety because when someone does the shopping, they tend to feel happy and comfortable Use synonyms
due to
the serotonin, a hormone that causes feeling convenient is released. Linking Words
Third,
shopping Linking Words
also
can be an alternative to Linking Words
people
preventing them from negative activities.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
this
activity ought to be restricted to things that are useful daily because if shopping is not restricted, it will shape a negative habit. Linking Words
For instance
, Linking Words
people
would lose their control in determining the important things for them so they tend to spend their money without getting anything. Use synonyms
Moreover
, nowadays, we can access the Internet easily and as we know, the Internet supports everyone who wants to shop more and more because it provides market place for everyone who wants to buy something from home. Linking Words
Therefore
, it would form Linking Words
people
having a consumerism mindset.
Use synonyms
To sum up
, Linking Words
although
the benefits of shopping have many advantages for human life, Linking Words
people
should restrict their desires from buying something that does not give added value to their life. Use synonyms
Also
, Linking Words
people
should realize the negative effects appeared from shopping.Use synonyms
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the topic and provides an opinion, the response lacks full development. Your answer must fully address all parts of the task to gain a higher score for task achievement. Expand your ideas with more specific details, and make sure all parts of the prompt are covered comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has some semblance of structure; however, the ideas could be more logically ordered and paragraphs more cohesively developed. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to clarify the main point of each paragraph. Pay attention to paragraphing so that the introduction, body, and conclusion are distinctly separated, enhancing readability.