Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#forms #leisure #activity #countries #adults #development

There are various popular kinds of leisure activities in many countries, one of them is shopping. An activity

such

as shopping will not become popular without a reason. So, in

this

essay, I will examine several reasons that support the fact on the positive and negative side.

Moreover

, in my opinion, shopping, in the digital era, is indispensable and has become an integral part of human daily life. On the one hand, shopping would become a positive activity, if the consumers limit their desires in useful things.

First,

people

often go shopping because they should

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their needs.

For instance

, buying some clothes or home appliances.

Second,

shopping

also

helps

people

to reduce their anxiety because when someone does the shopping, they tend to feel happy and comfortable

due to

the serotonin, a hormone that causes feeling convenient is released.

Third,

shopping

also

can be an alternative to

people

preventing them from negative activities.

On the other hand

this

activity ought to be restricted to things that are useful daily because if shopping is not restricted, it will shape a negative habit.

For instance

people

would lose their control in determining the important things for them so they tend to spend their money without getting anything.

Moreover

, nowadays, we can access the Internet easily and as we know, the Internet supports everyone who wants to shop more and more because it provides market place for everyone who wants to buy something from home.

Therefore

, it would form

people

having a consumerism mindset.

To sum up

although

the benefits of shopping have many advantages for human life,

people

should restrict their desires from buying something that does not give added value to their life.

Also

people

should realize the negative effects appeared from shopping.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Sun Dec 03 2023

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task achievement

While the essay addresses the topic and provides an opinion, the response lacks full development. Your answer must fully address all parts of the task to gain a higher score for task achievement. Expand your ideas with more specific details, and make sure all parts of the prompt are covered comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has some semblance of structure; however, the ideas could be more logically ordered and paragraphs more cohesively developed. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to clarify the main point of each paragraph. Pay attention to paragraphing so that the introduction, body, and conclusion are distinctly separated, enhancing readability.

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure activity
consumer culture
material possession
social experience
disposable income
tech-savvy
convenience
fashion trends
overconsumption
economic stimulation
retail industry
materialism
debt
consumer spending
browsing

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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Many organisations and companies ask their staff to wear a uniform. What are the advantages of this?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some Companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn all the time. What are the advantages for a company of having a uniform? Are there any benefits or drawbacks of having a uniform for the staff?