Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
There are various popular kinds of leisure activities in many countries, one of them is shopping. An activity
such
as shopping will not become popular without a reason. So, in this
essay, I will examine several reasons that support the fact on the positive and negative side. Moreover
, in my opinion, shopping, in the digital era, is indispensable and has become an integral part of human daily life.
On the one hand, shopping would become a positive activity, if the consumers limit their desires in useful things. First,
people
often go shopping because they should fulfill
their needs. Change the spelling
fulfil
For instance
, buying some clothes or home appliances. Second,
shopping also
helps people
to reduce their anxiety because when someone does the shopping, they tend to feel happy and comfortable due to
the serotonin, a hormone that causes feeling convenient is released. Third,
shopping also
can be an alternative to people
preventing them from negative activities.
On the other hand
, this
activity ought to be restricted to things that are useful daily because if shopping is not restricted, it will shape a negative habit. For instance
, people
would lose their control in determining the important things for them so they tend to spend their money without getting anything. Moreover
, nowadays, we can access the Internet easily and as we know, the Internet supports everyone who wants to shop more and more because it provides market place for everyone who wants to buy something from home. Therefore
, it would form people
having a consumerism mindset.
To sum up
, although
the benefits of shopping have many advantages for human life, people
should restrict their desires from buying something that does not give added value to their life. Also
, people
should realize the negative effects appeared from shopping.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has some semblance of structure; however, the ideas could be more logically ordered and paragraphs more cohesively developed. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences to clarify the main point of each paragraph. Pay attention to paragraphing so that the introduction, body, and conclusion are distinctly separated, enhancing readability.