People after retirement often require financial assistance. Some think the government should be responsible for this, while others believe individuals should make provisions for themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction

Some argue that the government should financially aid people after they retire,

while

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others suggest that a person should arrange

this

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on their own.

While

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retired folks might get some relief after they receive payments from the state, I believe

one

Use synonyms

should look towards building their own economic independence.

Body paragraph 1

Someone who has just retired, indeed, would benefit from the money the authorities send them.

This

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can ease them into a retired

life

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and will help them settle in slowly, which normally is not an easy process.

This

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will provide the ex-employees with mental backing regarding their finances.

As a result

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, they will not have to go through the initial anxiety and confusion that follows it.

For example

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, the Indian government has a mandatory salary deduction called the employee provident fund that helps in collecting a corpus throughout a worker's total years of work, which after their final exit, can be taken out in installments or in

one

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go.

However

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this

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will not nearly be enough to beat inflation and lead a comfortable

life

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Body paragraph 2

Therefore

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, it is of paramount importance that a person imagines the kind of

life

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he or she would want to live after being retired and

hence

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, financially plan everything

accordingly

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. There are many instruments

one

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can use to grow their money so that they do not have to rely on any external assistance.

For instance

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one

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can start investing in mutual funds as a long-term goal, which gives an almost guaranteed 11% return on average. The more you keep the money locked into it, the more the compounding effect does its magic.

This

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is why, I believe that already having a financial backup for retirement during the early stages of your career takes significance over anything else.

Conclusion

In conclusion, relying on monetary aid from authorities after retirement is ill-advised.

Instead

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, a better thing to do would be to strategise the deployment of pounds and dollars from the early professional days so that

one

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can enjoy their post-work

life

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in comfort.

majumdarnilesh21

Sep 10, 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed thoroughly. Some detail about the opposing view could make your essay more balanced.

coherence cohesion

Work on making your transitions even smoother. This will help to guide the reader through your argument seamlessly.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion were clear and directly addressed the question.

logical structure

The points were well-organized and supported with relevant examples, making the essay easy to follow.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your ideas were clearly presented and easy to understand, which strengthened your argument.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

333 words

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People after retirement often require financial assistance. Some think the government should be responsible for this, while others believe individuals should make provisions for themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Describe a challenging situation or an obstacle you encountered during your studies and elaborate on the steps you took to navigate through it. *

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that younger people should be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some contries,more and more people are becoming intersted in finding out about the history of the housr or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to take care of themselves. To what extent do you agree or disagree?