Being a celebrity-such as famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems?

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Being a celebrity, whether as a famous film star or a
sports
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personality, comes with its pros and cons.
However
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,
this
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essay believes that
fame
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comes with significant benefits, it
also
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brings unique challenges and difficulties which outweigh the benefits. On one hand, the benefits of being a celebrity are undeniable.
Firstly
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,
celebrities
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often enjoy significant financial rewards. Film stars and
sports
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figures,
for example
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, receive enormous salaries, endorsements, and sponsorships, which allow them to live a lavish lifestyle.
Furthermore
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, their status brings them access to exclusive events and opportunities which helps them grow their network in personal and professional life.
Celebrities
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are praised for raising awareness of societal problems in ways an average person cannot.
However
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, the problems associated with
fame
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are more substantial. One of the most significant challenges faced by
celebrities
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and
sports
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persons is the loss of privacy.
Celebrities
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and
sports
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figures are always hounded by the media and fans with their every move scrutinized. The constant attention can be overwhelming and invasive, which leads to stress, anxiety, and a diminished quality of life. They have to face the pressure of maintaining their public image which can take a toll on their mental health, as they often feel to unrealistic standards of beauty, success, and behaviour.
Moreover
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,
fame
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can
also
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lead to strained personal relationships. The intense public criticism and demands can result in problems between friends and family which can cause distress. In conclusion,
while
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the financial rewards and influence that come with being a celebrity or a
sports
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personality, the associated challenges, including the loss of privacy, mental distress and difficulties in maintaining personal relationships clearly show that
fame
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is not as glamorous and beneficial as it might be seen.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by elaborating on a few benefits of fame before stating that challenges outweigh them. This would strengthen your argument and give a fuller picture.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to enhance the flow of the essay. Phrases like 'on the contrary' or 'in addition' can help to clearly show the contrast between benefits and problems.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or anecdotes related to celebrities facing issues or enjoying benefits. This will enhance the relevance and depth of your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Effective use of vocabulary related to the topic, which reflects a good understanding of the subject matter.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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