Are mobile phones a good thing for society in general?

It is believed that mobile phones bring a vast number of benefits to our digital society. From my perspective,

while

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I accept that

cellphones

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cell phones

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are a good thing for all

people

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in general, I

also

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believe that they may trigger some clear disadvantages.

Firstly

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, smartphones transform the way individuals communicate, access information, and engage with the world. One of the primary advantages of smartphones is their multifunctionality. These devices combine communication, information, and entertainment. The integration of various features,

such

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as calling, texting, and internet browsing, into a single device has simplified many aspects of modern life.

For example

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people

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can now connect globally and enable instant communication through voice calls, text messages, and various social media platforms.

However

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, the widespread use of smartphones has brought about certain disadvantages. One notable concern is the impact on personal relationships and face-to-face communication. The constant connectivity to digital devices can lead to a decrease in direct human interaction, potentially affecting the quality of personal relationships.

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, youngsters nowadays usually interact through dating apps, and they easily leave conversations if they feel bored,

although

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the

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apply

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others are still very excited to talk with them.

This

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phenomenon brings an uncomfortable and vulnerable feeling to

people

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's relationships; they may be more afraid of meeting in real life. In short, I believe that the invention of mobile phones is a brilliant thing for the whole society because of its variable benefits.

However

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people

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should

also

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be concerned about the way they use

this

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electronic device to minimize its drawbacks.

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Dec 3, 2023

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a good overall structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the coherence could be improved by strengthening the transition between ideas and providing clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.

task achievement

While you have answered the prompt to an extent by acknowledging both advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones in society, the response could be enhanced by providing more in-depth analysis and a broader range of ideas and examples to fully develop your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Are mobile phones a good thing for society in general?

Parents should spend more time with their children helping them with their homework. Do you agree or disagree?

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You recently changed jobs, and you want to tell a person who you used to work with about your change of job. Write a letter to that person. In your letter: • describe your new job • explain whether you think it was a good idea to change jobs • suggest that you meet again soon.