Are mobile phones a good thing for society in general?
It is believed that mobile phones bring a vast number of benefits to our digital society. From my perspective,
while
I accept that cellphones
are a good thing for all Correct your spelling
cell phones
people
in general, I also
believe that they may trigger some clear disadvantages.
Firstly
, smartphones transform the way individuals communicate, access information, and engage with the world. One of the primary advantages of smartphones is their multifunctionality. These devices combine communication, information, and entertainment. The integration of various features, such
as calling, texting, and internet browsing, into a single device has simplified many aspects of modern life. For example
, people
can now connect globally and enable instant communication through voice calls, text messages, and various social media platforms.
However
, the widespread use of smartphones has brought about certain disadvantages. One notable concern is the impact on personal relationships and face-to-face communication. The constant connectivity to digital devices can lead to a decrease in direct human interaction, potentially affecting the quality of personal relationships. For example
, youngsters nowadays usually interact through dating apps, and they easily leave conversations if they feel bored, although
the
others are still very excited to talk with them. Correct article usage
apply
This
phenomenon brings an uncomfortable and vulnerable feeling to people
's relationships; they may be more afraid of meeting in real life.
In short, I believe that the invention of mobile phones is a brilliant thing for the whole society because of its variable benefits. However
, people
should also
be concerned about the way they use this
electronic device to minimize its drawbacks.Submitted by duongntt.tld on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good overall structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the coherence could be improved by strengthening the transition between ideas and providing clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
task achievement
While you have answered the prompt to an extent by acknowledging both advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones in society, the response could be enhanced by providing more in-depth analysis and a broader range of ideas and examples to fully develop your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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