Some people believe money is a less important factor than free time for quality of life. What do you think about it? What other factors are necessary to live a good quality of lifestyle?

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Life
Use synonyms
must have a
quality
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, and there are some factors that can make it valuable. Many
people
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say that
money
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is not a significant aspect of a good
life
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compared to having free time. It is disagreed that
money
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has a few values for a good
quality
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of
life
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because
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
three reasons having enough
money
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can lead
people
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to do many leisure activities,
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
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to be in school, and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
chance
Add an article
the chance
a chance
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to cure
people
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’s
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
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if they are sick.
Also
Linking Words
, two other factors that can create a good
life
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namely good partner and
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
job
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. By having enough
money
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people
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can conduct many activities including leisure
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
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can take
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
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to any beautiful
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
in the world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, by doing
this
Linking Words
agenda
people
Use synonyms
can be happy so it can lead to a good
quality
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of
life
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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can have an opportunity to pursue their education if they have enough
money
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. No doubt that becoming an educated person
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
our
life
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happier.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
gets sick, he or she will have
money
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to cure
its
Correct pronoun usage
his
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problem.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
quality
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of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
is
guarantee
Wrong verb form
guaranteed
show examples
. Two other factors that
consider
Wrong verb form
are considered
show examples
to be important as well in creating a good
life
Use synonyms
,
Add a missing verb
are they
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
good partner and
job
Use synonyms
. Regarding the first one, it means that we as
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
need others to communicate. In
this
Linking Words
case, we must have a good partner to talk
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
With regard to the second one, holding a good
job
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will bring us to have a better
life
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
, having
money
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used for leisure, school, and treatment are the reasons why
money
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is significant for a
quality
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life
Use synonyms
, and getting
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
people
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to talk
and
Change preposition
to and
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
are
also
Linking Words
crucial for a better
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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