In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high schools and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #schools #university #studies

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Nowadays, students tend to travel or

work

Use synonyms

in the year after finishing high school and before joining a university.

This

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development has brought both positive and negative implications for young people.

While

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it offers several advantages, there are

also

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notable disadvantages.

This

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essay will examine both sides of the issue in detail.

To begin

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with, one of the primary advantages of having a gap year for

work

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or travel is gaining experience.

This

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is because of facing various challenging situations and trying to overcome them correctly, which leads to being able to solve any complex state during the college years.

Additionally

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, having a source of money is another significant benefit. It allows young people to learn how to save their money, which can positively impact their financial skills.

On the other hand

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, enrolling university in

Change preposition

at a

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late time has its fair share of drawbacks. One notable disadvantage is being tired.

This

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arises when young individuals force themselves to

work

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for a long period without taking breaks to recharge themselves, resulting in wasting their time and having less passion.

Furthermore

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, another drawback is making a bad decision

such

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as continuing in

work

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and not wanting to back to studying.

This

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is particularly problematic because young people can not be sure of completing

work

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without having a university degree, which can lead to being under pressure

while

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working. In conclusion, encouraging students to

work

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or travel has both advantages and disadvantages. The benefits,

such

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as personal development and gaining money, make it valuable.

However

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, the drawbacks, including tiredness and not

study

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studying

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, highlight the need for careful consideration. A balanced approach is essential to maximize the positives

while

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minimizing the negatives.

Submitted by if3r37 on Sun Dec 29 2024

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task achievement

Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention a specific situation where a student traveled or worked, and how it benefited or hindered their future studies.

coherence cohesion

Try to avoid repetition. The essay mentions 'tiredness' and 'working too long' in similar contexts, and instead could diversify the language and reasons.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion and provide a solid foundation for the arguments.

coherence cohesion

Clear distinction between advantages and disadvantages, helping the reader follow the writer's argument.

coherence cohesion

Good use of transitional phrases to move between ideas and sections, aiding reader understanding and linking different parts together.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high schools and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

New forms of money are becoming extremely popular nowadays. Is this a positive development or adding risk to the system? Should new money technology face greater regulation and scrutiny? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Science is more useful than human judgement in stopping crime. To what extent do you agree?

More and more people today are spending large amounts of money on their appearance in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

To what extent has information technology social inequality?