IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The opinion exists that old buildings should be demolished to make way for modern structures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#buildings #structures
It can be seen that protecting and repairing ancient buildings is extremely expensive. Some believe that they should be demolished and rebuilt in a more modern style,
while
 others believe that they should be maintained and retained.
This
 article will explore the arguments in favour of the latter viewpoint and demonstrate why I disagree with it.
Firstly
, these magnificent ancient structures serve as tourist attractions, driving the
country
's tourism industry and generating significant income for the nation.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that historical
sites
 draw numerous international visitors who are captivated by their distinctive charm and aura.
For example
, Amsterdam, Netherlands, is well-known as a must-visit destination in Europe
due to
 its many ancient churches, houses, bridges, and other
sites
 that reflect the
country
's traditions, culture, and
history
.
Therefore
, a million tourists visit Amsterdam every year, and residents can make money by opening restaurants, cafes, bars, rental services, souvenir shops, etc.
Secondly
, these ancient buildings are the best places for the new generation to learn about
history
 and background, apart from museums. Since many of the preserved heritage
sites
 are important to the
country
, and some of them are World Heritage
sites
, visiting these places is a better way to encourage students to learn more about the
country
's
history
 than simply reading about it or studying it in the classroom.
For example
, all students who are rowing on the canals of Amsterdam will feel more excited when they see the impressive scenery and hear the audio that tells the rich stories of the old buildings along the canals. They will
also
 learn some
history
 indirectly.
Therefore
, these ancient landmarks should be preserved for outdoor education.
Overall
, there has been controversy over whether these ancient heritage
sites
 should be destroyed or preserved. I think, for the reasons stated above, I absolutely disagree with the idea of tearing it down and rebuilding it.
Submitted by yuqingchen10 on

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task achievement
The essay maintains a clear position throughout. However, the reasons given for disagreement are limited and could be further developed to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are organized and there is a logical sequencing of information, but transitions could be smoother and paragraphing can be improved to enhance readability.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demolition
  • Retrofitting
  • Aesthetic
  • Sustainability
  • Cultural heritage
  • Urban development
  • Conservation
  • Architectural integrity
  • Regulatory compliance
  • Heritage sites
  • Preservation
  • Infrastructure
  • Modernization
  • Landmark
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