IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

University education should be free to everyone, regardless of income. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #education #income
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There is an opinion that no one regardless of their financial situation should pay for their
university
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education
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.
However
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, I totally disagree with
this
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 statement. Proponents of the idea mentioned above may say that in order to achieve social
equality
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, tertiary
education
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 should be free for
everyone
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. Undoubtedly, there are
people
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 who have the necessary qualifications required to enrol in a college
,
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apply
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 but choose to work after high school just because they cannot afford expensive study fees.
Hence
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, making
university
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education
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 free to
everyone
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 can definitely solve the inequality occurring
due to
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 financial background, but it is not an effective and reasonable way to reach social
equality
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. One of the reasons that college studies should be paid for is that we should provide help to the ones in need
instead
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 of
everyone
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.
People
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 who are already able to afford the fees can use the extra money on places like having tuition lessons, or even applying to overseas summer schools, giving them an educational advantage over
people
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 in poverty.
Instead
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 of making it totally free, providing educational grants or subsidies to students in need can solve social
equality
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 more directly.
Furthermore
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, the
government
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 have to pay the bills for
everyone
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 if it is free, which increases its financial burden. There are a lot of social problems that the
government
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 needs to solve,
such
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 as housing or even increasing suicide rates. Putting huge resources into removing
university
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 study fees means that the
government
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 need to put fewer resources into other problems, which results in neglecting other groups of
people
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 in need. In conclusion,
due to
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 the fact that there are other methods to achieve the same goal of social
equality
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, and making it free will increase the financial burden on the
government
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, I totally disagree that
university
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education
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 should be free to
everyone
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.
Submitted by jackcityone on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a limited ability to logically organize ideas. To improve, consider creating a clearer progression of ideas throughout the essay by using topic sentences and clear transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Although the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be improved for greater impact. The conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points made within the body of the essay. You should also restate your position more clearly to reinforce the reader's understanding of your stance.
coherence cohesion
Some main points are supported, but the supporting details are often too general. The essay would greatly benefit from more specific examples and evidence to back up the claims being made. Including these specifics can lend credibility to the argument and enhance the persuasive power of the essay.
task achievement
The response to the task is somewhat complete, but the position taken is not fully developed. To achieve a higher score, the essay should present a more balanced view that addresses both sides of the issue more thoroughly before concluding.
task achievement
The ideas in the essay are clear, but they are not developed comprehensively. To enhance clarity and understanding, provide more detailed explanations and examples. This would demonstrate a greater range of language and a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples, but they lack specificity and do not fully support the argument. Include more focused and concrete examples to illustrate your points and demonstrate a higher degree of task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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