Some people say that art subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Education)

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people hold the thought that
art
Use synonyms
-related
subjects
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as drawing or painting are unnecessary for high
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
. In my perspective, I believe that
art
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
should be optional,
therefore
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
can focus on their main
subjects
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, it is undeniable that there are some benefits from attending
art
Use synonyms
classes.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
help
students
Use synonyms
to think outside the box and be more creative.
Also
Linking Words
, it requires
students
Use synonyms
to experiment with many different methods so that their solving-problems skills can be enhanced.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they are considered as calm activities which help
students
Use synonyms
relieve stress and anxiety.
According to
Linking Words
universities, the levels of anxiety in
art
Use synonyms
attendees are lower than in non-attending ones.
However
Linking Words
, time which is spent on
art
Use synonyms
classes should be allocated to other crucial
subjects
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with, high
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
have to learn a lot of
subjects
Use synonyms
to pass the university exam.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they should have more chances to concentrate on core
subjects
Use synonyms
like math, science, and literature.
Additionally
Linking Words
, schools should not give
art
Use synonyms
classes to
students
Use synonyms
who are not interested in drawing and painting.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these
students
Use synonyms
may feel bored and wasting time, others may consider it as pressure because of their limitations and capabilities.
To sum up
Linking Words
, learning
art
Use synonyms
provides considerable benefits for high
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
only benefits those who are into drawing and painting, forcing
students
Use synonyms
to learn undesirable
subjects
Use synonyms
results in negative attitudes among
students
Use synonyms
. High
school
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
should be free to choose their interest subject and
also
Linking Words
they need more time to focus on vital
subjects
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by nguyenhung1705mmt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence
Strengthen the connection between ideas in paragraphs to enhance the logical structure.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your argument.
Task Achievement
Refine the language for clearer and more concise expressions of ideas.
Introduction/Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and present, setting the context and summarizing the argument well.
Task Achievement
You addressed the task by discussing arguments for and against making art subjects compulsory, which shows a balanced approach.
Coherence
Main points are generally supported with reasons, contributing to the overall argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: