In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you thing it is a positive or negative situation?
Ownership of a house is a lot more preferred by individuals in some
countries
. In these countries
, people
may prefer owning a home
because of the high rents and irregular incomes. And, I believe this
is a positive situation in terms of residents.
To commence with, owning a home
might have significant importance for some people
because of the high rents as a result
of inflation
in that country. For instance
, Turkey
, which is a country that still suffers from the economic instability caused by COVID-19
pandemic in 2019, has announced its 2023 Correct article usage
the COVID-19
inflation
rate which is above %400. So, rent prices in big cities climbed up to ten thousand Turkish liras which is akin to the average salary. As a result
, having your own house might be important for people
in countries
with high inflation
rates. Even if the inflation
rate increases people
can still want to own a house. And,Turkey
can benefit from this
situation. As the demand for homes increases, the money circulation increases and results in a better economy.
Besides
, in countries
like Malaysia, most of the people
have irregular incomes. For those people
, adjusting money for rent may not same every month. So, to not carry the stress of this
on their shoulders, people
can dream of their own home
and this
might be a considerable thing.
To sum up
, owning a home
might have real significance for people
in coe countries
like Turkey
or Malaysia. People
may dream owning
a Change preposition
of owning
home
because they may not spend most of their salaries on high rents, which Turkey
sets an example as a result
of the high inflation
rate, or they may have irregular incomes and may face difficulties in terms of adjusting the necessary money for the rent.Submitted by oyku.bilgin12 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear overall progression to your essay. Your ideas sometimes jump abruptly without clear connections which can confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction should clearly state your position regarding the topic, and it should include a brief outline of the main points to be discussed in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Support main points with more detailed examples and explanations. You touched on specifics such as Turkey's inflation and the challenges in Malaysia but more elaboration would make your points stronger.
task achievement
Your essay should fully address all parts of the task. The second part of the question regarding whether owning a home is positive or negative was not covered comprehensively.
task achievement
Strive for a clear and a comprehensive presentation of ideas. While you mention some reasons for the importance of home ownership, you could expand on this and link it more directly to the implications for individuals and the wider society, thus ensuring a more thorough exploration of the topic.
task achievement
Provide relevant examples to back up each point you make. The examples you used were good, but you need to develop them more fully to show how they support your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite