IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many developing countries are currently expanding their tourist industries. Why is this the case? It is possible or negative development?

#countries #tourist #industries #case #development
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Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tourism
are widen
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are widened
are widening
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their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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industry
in
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apply
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all over the world. There are several reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon
as well as
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 the reason why
this
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 is a negative development.
To begin
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 with, there is one main reason why many developing countries
are encourage
Change the verb form
are encouraged
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 to
expanding
Wrong verb form
expand
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 their tourist industry. The first reason is to advertise a country's
culture
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 to international
friends
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. By
open wide
Wrong verb form
opening
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the
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apply
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tourism,
government
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the government
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 can show their beautiful
traditional
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traditions
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 and customs as they want.
For example
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, in New
York
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, as
a
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apply
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research in 2012 by
New
Correct article usage
the New
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York
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news
Capitalize word
News
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. Travel,
in
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apply
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2000 the
percent
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per cent
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 of international
friends
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who know
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know
Wrong verb form
knew
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 about New
York
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 cuisine and
culture
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is
Wrong verb form
was
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 about 20%.
However
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, in 2023, New
York
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city
Capitalize word
City
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 can spread their picturesque
traditional
Replace the word
traditions
show examples
 and
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also
Rephrase
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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culture
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 to nearly half of all European
friends
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 including
ASIAN
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Asians
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.
This
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 is a negative development because it can attack
to
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apply
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the environment and marine life. Each year, many beautiful
landscape
Change to a plural noun
landscapes
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 are destroyed and spoiled to create eco-tourism, results and soon, leading
to
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in
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 serious floods,
landslide
Fix the agreement mistake
landslides
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 and
eroson
Correct your spelling
erosion
.
Besides
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, the ocean and seas
also
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 rivers and streams are full of rubbish.
As
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According
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 a research in 2019, people wasting amount of plastic bottles, nylon bags, pieces of sponges and branches of trees floating in the water.
This
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 can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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aquatic animals.
For example
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, in 2020, as a record by “News Travel”, up to one million
of
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apply
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seabirds
are die
Wrong verb form
died
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 because of eating plastic waste. In conclusion, in the globalization era, the
expanding
Replace the word
expansion
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 of tourist industries is because of advertising the
culture
Use synonyms
 and tradition to foreign
friends
Use synonyms
.
However
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,
this
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 statement can lead to bad
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 on our habitat and marine life.
Submitted by tranthitotam05111983 on

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structure
Ensure that your essay follows a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea and be connected with transitions to show the relationship between your thoughts.
introduction conclusion
Include an introduction that clearly addresses the question, and provide a conclusion that summarizes the main points of your essay.
examples
Support your main points with specific examples and evidence to clarify and strengthen your arguments.
task response
Fully respond to all parts of the task. Make sure you answer both why countries might want to expand their tourist industry and whether you think this is a positive or negative development, with a balanced discussion on both points.
accuracy
Avoid grammatical errors and ensure the accuracy and appropriateness of the vocabulary you use, as these mistakes can make your essay harder to follow and understand.
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