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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that success is "10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work". Is hard work the key to success, or is talent also important?

#people #success #percent #talent #work
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Some people hold the view that talent is the most necessary factor in gaining
success
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,
while
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 others claim that hard
work
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 is the main key. In my view, if someone wants to be successful, they must have all
factors
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such
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 as hard
work
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, talent, luck, belief and the like.
Firstly
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, I think hard
work
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 is a way to become successful. Because if you don’t practice regularly, you will forget the skill too fast. Practising
also
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helpsalso
Correct your spelling
helps also
help also
 help you have more patience. It does not matter how many times they fail, they do not give up and stop their efforts till they reach their goal.
For example
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, a good doctor is a person who has to
work
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 hard and do everything carefully. If you
work
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 hard and try your best, the good result will come with you and your dream will come true. But
besides
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 that, hard
work
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 alone is not enough, you need essential skills and social relationships to be able to achieve
success
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. Finance is
also
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 a difficult problem. When you have enough money and plenty of money, those will be the
factors
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 that help you achieve
success
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 easily because most problems are solved with money .And the social relationships can help you contribute chances. If you go to
work
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 in a society without knowing anyone, it will be a big challenge on
this
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 journey, so when you have good communication skills,you will be the winner in the race to achieve
success
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. In the end, there are still many
factors
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 that help someone become successful. Final conclusion, my opinion is that just working hard is not enough to succeed at something. There are many other reasons that can lead people to
success
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 in life, not just the basic
factors
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 like hard
work
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 and talent.
Therefore
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, to be able to achieve
success
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 at a certain goal, we must cultivate many other important skills.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance logical structuring of paragraphs and ensure clear progression of ideas through the essay.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clear introduction and conclusion that distinctly presents the topic and summarizes the main points.
coherence cohesion
Support your points with more concrete examples, as the arguments should be illustrated effectively with relevant details.
task achievement
Address the task more fully by discussing both viewpoints and your own opinion with a balanced approach.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by refining each paragraph to focus on one main idea, ensuring a comprehensive explanation that supports the argument.
task achievement
Provide specific examples or data to substantiate your claims, making sure they are pertinent and add significant value to the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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