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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that success is "10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work". Is hard work the key to success, or is talent also important

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It is commonly believed that achieving success demands a combination of innate talent and considerable effort. Undoubtedly, hard work plays a pivotal role, yet innate abilities
also
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 hold significance for several reasons outlined in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, diligence is the pathway for individuals to accomplish their life objectives. Practising regularly is crucial, as it reinforces learned skills.
Additionally
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, consistent practice nurtures patience. Regardless of how many setbacks one faces, the determination to persist until reaching the pinnacle remains paramount.
Moreover
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, it's widely acknowledged that persistent efforts eventually yield favourable results.
For instance
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, a medical student who dedicates extensive hours to mastering theories and honing practical skills in patient care is destined to emerge as a distinguished doctor in due course.
However
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, hard work alone does not guarantee success; innate aptitude is equally contributory. Evidently, individuals possessing innate intelligence often exhibit greater efficiency and effectiveness in completing tasks assigned by their superiors. To illustrate, in fields like accounting, a proficient accountant adept in numerical skills typically outperforms one with merely fundamental accounting knowledge.
Consequently
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, the former is more likely to ascend to the role of chief accountant by significantly boosting the company's profits. In conclusion,
while
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 some contend that endeavour is the primary catalyst for success, I firmly advocate that innate talent
also
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 wields considerable influence.
Thus
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, to attain specific goals, individuals must possess both dedication and innate abilities.

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introduction
Develop a more comprehensive introduction to set the context of your argument better.
introduction
Include a clearer thesis statement that reflects both sides of the argument to provide a more balanced introduction.
body paragraph
In the body paragraphs, aim for a more balanced discussion illustrating the intertwining roles of hard work and talent.
body paragraph
Use more specific examples to enhance the effectiveness of your argument.
coherence
Ensure a logical flow of ideas from one paragraph to the next with clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the thesis.
cohesion
Make use of more cohesive devices and transition words to effectively guide the reader through the argument.
conclusion
Craft a conclusion that not only summarizes your points but also strongly ties back to your initial thesis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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