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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe schoolchildren should help to create rules in their schools. Others say teachers alone should decide what the rules are. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #schoolchildren #rules #schools #teachers
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There has been ongoing debate regarding whether
students
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 should be allowed to set up
rules
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 in
schools
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.
While
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 some support that
children
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 are capable of deciding regulations properly, others argue that
this
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 could be detrimental to their growth.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives and present my personal viewpoint. In
this
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 neoliberal society,
children
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 are given more freedom to make their own decisions than ever. It is widely agreed that
students
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 are independent individuals so they should enjoy the right to determine
rules
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 in their learning environment. What is obvious is that sometimes
students
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 are the characters who understand the most redundant
rules
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 in the school.
For example
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, the uniform policy has been generally adopted by plenty of Asia
schools
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. In essence,
this
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 regulation would not foster learning efficiency or benefit in any aspect.
As a consequence
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, allowing
school
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
show examples
children
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 to alter the
rules
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 can outdate the unfit.
On the other hand
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, what is
also
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 alarming is that a majority of
students
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 are not mature enough to set up
rules
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 for
schools
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. It is undeniable that those studying in
schools
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 are still learning. With the availability of power to create
rules
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, their immaturity could cause adverse repercussions.
Such
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 as the cancellation of homework which is supposed to enhance and evaluate the studying results of
children
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. Once
students
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 set up harmful
rules
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, it could massively decline education quality. In conclusion, it is evident that allowing
children
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 to be involved in creating
rules
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 in school would benefit the studying environment but
this
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 move could result in negative effects. From my perspective, it is essential for parents and teachers to guide
children
Use synonyms
 to strike a balance between proper decisions.
Submitted by seanlin12345 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the main points are developed with supporting sentences that progress logically.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs, but avoid overusing them to the point where the text becomes mechanical.
task achievement
In your introduction, make sure you paraphrase the question to clearly present both views before stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Each viewpoint discussed should be supported by relevant examples or explanations, ensuring a deeper analysis of the arguments.
task achievement
Your conclusion should summarize the main points of the discussion and clearly state your own position, reflecting upon what has been argued in the body of the essay.
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