Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #work #school #life

In the modern era,

competition

in every field has grown more than the previous times.

While

some people are in favour of

competition

in every field of a

person

life

, others think that cooperation is the best virtue. In my opinion, I strongly believe that cooperation can bring more

happiness

and has an important role in developing

society

. On

first

Add an article

the first

show examples

hand, I have an opinion that

competition

in different sectors of

life

like professional

life

, educational

life

and

also

in personal

life

never brings

happiness

. It is true that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

competition

can make a man attentive and ambitious and

also

helps him to be focused on the target.

For instance

, a competitive

person

seeks more opportunities to develop his own skills and

also

he is always aware of the present situations which makes him a dedicated and focused human being. But, In the long run,

competition

brings jealousy. To cite an example, When a competitive

person

finds someone better than him in terms of skills or achievements, he becomes jealous and

this

jealousy can lead him to achieve success by hook or by crook.

This

type of mentality often creates a negative impact on the

person

's entire

life

On the other hand

, cooperation brings a lot of

happiness

along with

some other good virtues. To support my view, a cooperative

person

is normally a man of honour who remains calm and peaceful all the time. No matter how many hurdles he faces, he always finds a way to help others for the betterment.

however

, a

person

with

this

quality is actually an asset to

society

as common people get enough support from him which brings

happiness

and prosperity to

society

To conclude

, I strongly support the notion of being cooperative rather than being competitive in order to be happy and to bring positive vibes to

society

Submitted by jisan.path1506605 on Wed Nov 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea of that paragraph. This will help in maintaining a clean logical flow.

task achievement

Provide additional specific examples to strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points more clearly.

coherence cohesion

While your conclusion summarizes your points well, consider reinforcing your opinion by directly referencing some of the key ideas from the body paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Your essay's structure is clear and logical, with distinct paragraphs for each set of ideas.

task achievement

You effectively summarize both views in your introduction and provide a clear thesis statement.

task achievement

You've correctly identified and discussed both sides of the debate, fulfilling the task requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over past thirty years that may cities in the world are now on big traffic jam. How true do you think this statement is? How government should encourage people to reduce using their cars.

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to be meant for adults only. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes and what solutions can be offered?

Some people believe that exams are an inappropriate way of measuring students’ performance and should be replaced by continuous assessment. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

Some people think that planting trees in open spaces in cities and towns is more important than building houses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?