You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
#minutes #topic #people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
Community
service
is an activity where people can help developing
their Wrong verb form
develop
community
in term
of humanities Fix the agreement mistake
terms
such
as charity, voluntary teaching or improving the neighbourhood. Recently, not only someone who is listed as a member of community
service
, but children at schools are also
allowed to get an experience to serve
their communities. I agree Change preposition
of serving
if
Correct word choice
that
community
service
become
a compulsory part of Change the verb form
becomes
high
school Add an article
the high
programme
as Fix the agreement mistake
programmes
this
programme would change students' view
about helping people or Fix the agreement mistake
views
community
in need which could lead to Fix the agreement mistake
communities
a
great public awareness.
Every Correct article usage
apply
children
are raised differently, in Change to a singular noun
child
different
family situation, at Add an article
a different
the different
different
living location, and even from Add an article
the different
a different
different
Add an article
a different
education
background. They need to not only see but Replace the word
educational
also
engage in other Fix the agreement mistake
situations
situation
that perhaps need more help in order to grow, develop, or simply Fix the agreement mistake
situations
Wrong verb form
live
living
. Particularly, high school students Wrong verb form
live
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
has
already Change the verb form
have
begin
to understand Wrong verb form
begun
the
real-life situation, where not everyone is lucky enough to live a good life.
Through Correct article usage
apply
community
service
, students are going to learn hands-on and by-experience
to give a hand to people in need. They will gain so Correct your spelling
by experience
much
life-changing experiences, Change the quantifier
many
such
as teaching younger kids to play sports or math,
or even taking care of Remove the comma
apply
elderly
. They will remember that life is something you need to be thankful Correct article usage
the elderly
of
, and always Change preposition
for
giving
their best to help.
In conclusion, I do agree Wrong verb form
give
if
unpaid Correct word choice
that
community
service
become a part of compulsory
programme in high school. They will get paid Add an article
the compulsory
a compulsory
by
plenty of important and priceless experiences. It would make a better generation Change preposition
for
in understanding
humanities and Change preposition
understand
highly
aware of what is happening around them, so they could make a good difference Add a missing verb
be highly
for
their communities.Change preposition
in
Submitted by anindya.khansalihara on
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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion. However, it could be enhanced by creating a more logical flow between ideas within paragraphs and transitions between them.
coherence cohesion
Develop main points with more specific examples and explanations to support your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You should expand on your ideas to fully address all parts of the task. Present a more elaborate argument with a greater range of vocabulary and sentence structures.
task achievement
Include relevant, specific examples to substantiate your arguments, as the current examples provided are somewhat generic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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