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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city of Newtown between 1980 and 1996 The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city of Newtown between 1980 and 1996

The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city of Newtown between 1980 and 1996 The graph below shows the number of complaints made about noise to Environmental Health authorities in the city of Newtown between 1980 and 1996
#complaints #noise #health #authorities #city #newtown
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As we
concerned
Add a missing verb
are concerned
show examples
 in big cities a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 complain about the
Use synonyms
noises
Fix the agreement mistake
noise
show examples
 and it is caused by crowds , cars,and so on.
This
Linking Words
line
Use synonyms
 chart illustrates the number of compliments
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
made by citizens of Newton about different causes from 1980 to 1996. The purple
line
Use synonyms
 shows that the household complaint declined steadily in 16 years .
However
Linking Words
 , we can see that the number of
people
Use synonyms
 that complained about factory
noises
Use synonyms
 increased gradually from 1980 to 1990 ,
then
Linking Words
 remained flat till 1996 about 700
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , we have road work shown by the blue
line
Use synonyms
 , it remained flat for 4 years around 500
people
Use synonyms
 argued about it ,
then
Linking Words
 there was fell and levelled off to 400 persons ,after that it soared to 1200 citizens
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 complained about road work
noises
Use synonyms
.
furtheremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
 we should consider the green
line
Use synonyms
 has been said that the traffic
noises
Use synonyms
 didn't bother a lot of
people
Use synonyms
 but after 1988 it had
rise
Change the verb form
risen
show examples
 to 600
people
Use synonyms
.
overall
Linking Words
 we can understand that road work
noises
Use synonyms
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the one which had the most complaints and by 6 years . Household
noises
Use synonyms
 reached the least one very steadily . in my
site
Add a comma
site,
show examples
 the government should be more concerned about it to make living life more comfortable than before .
Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, noises, line with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 7 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Complaints
  • Environmental Health authorities
  • Noise pollution
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Trend
  • Spikes
  • Fluctuations
  • Time frame
  • Population growth
  • Industrial development
  • Public awareness
  • Implications
  • Addressing the issue
  • Data analysis
  • Year-on-year changes
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