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Band 8

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #focus #success #examinations #skills #cookery #woodwork #school #friends
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Many people think that schools should only focus on teaching academic
subjects
 and preparing students for formal exams. I completely disagree and would argue that practical life
skills
 should be taught as well.
First,
it is a misconception that teaching strategies should be limited to a narrow focus on academic
subjects
 and test success. It is not possible for every student to have a great career with fantastic job opportunities in fields
such
 as Finance, Medicine, Law or Education. All of these require academic
skills
 but the job market in these fields is relatively small. Students who fail their exams might feel like failures, and these negative feelings inevitably shape a child's personality and values during the formative years. Only a few students who excel in academic
subjects
 will enjoy the material benefits of their success.
Second,
when
children
 need to learn practical
skills
, they may not have their family or friends who can help them out. There are
also
 many dysfunctional families where, for whatever reason, the parental involvement in raising their
children
 is almost non-existent.
Nevertheless
,
children
 need to learn those domestic
skills
, and for many of them, school is the only place to do so.
Otherwise
, as they enter adulthood, they will have to rely on expensive pre-made meals or buy new clothes and furniture, when all they really need is a simple repair. In conclusion, I totally disagree with an educational policy which focuses only on academic
subjects
 and exam success. Schools must place equal value on life
skills
 to ensure the full development of
children
.
Submitted by trungnh283 on

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language use
Consider using a wider variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to add richness to your essay.
development
Expand your argument by exploring the implications of not teaching life skills in schools and how that affects society at large.
task achievement
You have established a clear position and argued consistently throughout, addressing both sides of the argument effectively.
coherence & cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow of ideas, which is facilitated by coherent paragraphing and effective use of linking words.
task achievement
You’ve provided detailed, relevant examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic success
  • passing examinations
  • cookery
  • dressmaking
  • woodwork
  • learn from family and friends
  • personalized learning environment
  • supportive learning environment
  • well-rounded education
  • school curriculum
  • resources
  • expert guidance
  • enhance creativity
  • problem-solving
  • teamwork
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