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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

Needless to say, most young people are less prone to using their
right
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 to
vote
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 in all countries around the world. There are some issues,
such
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 as a lack of
awareness
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 about the importance of
this
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right
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, and several solutions,
such
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 as promoting public programs for adolescents to address
this
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 tendency. With regard to the problems of
this
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 argument, one of the primary issues is that younger people do not realise that the
right
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 to
vote
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 is essential for their countries and futures. When they are unaware of it, they avoid using their rights. It is evident that
this
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 situation occurs more often in developing countries because of poor public
awareness
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. Most young adults,
for instance
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, do not use their
right
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 to
vote
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 in Turkey, accounting for 20%. They are not interested in it because they do not realise the necessity of their rights. One of the main ways to tackle
this
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 issue is to promote public programs. It is a very suitable and valid option to raise
awareness
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 among young individuals. Research reveals that
this
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 method has a significant role in young populations' voting.
For example
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,
this
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 method has been used in Germany, and they have experienced an important increase in
this
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 field. In conclusion, it is a considerable issue that young people often do not tend to use their
right
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 to
vote
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. It has both problems and solutions. Poor knowledge about laws and rights is an example of a problem
,
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apply
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while
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 raising
awareness
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 of them among young adults is an example of a solution.

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Task Achievement
While your introduction is clear, consider expanding it to include a brief overview of the specific problems and solutions you will discuss. This sets clearer expectations for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point; this will enhance reader understanding and improve cohesion.
Task Achievement
When presenting statistics (like the voting percentage in Turkey), try to explain their significance to support your argument more effectively. Discuss why this statistic is relevant to the broader context.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs that each tackle a specific aspect of the topic.
Task Achievement
You have provided a good balance of problems and solutions, which demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic process
  • political instability
  • skewed representation
  • governance
  • erosion
  • civic education
  • alienation
  • policy-making
  • accessible
  • incentives
What to do next:
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