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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solutions?

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Needless to say, most young people are less prone to using their
right
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 to
vote
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 in all countries around the world. There are some issues,
such
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 as a lack of
awareness
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 about the importance of
this
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right
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, and several solutions,
such
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 as promoting public programs for adolescents to address
this
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 tendency. With regard to the problems of
this
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 argument, one of the primary issues is that younger people do not realise that the
right
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 to
vote
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 is essential for their countries and futures. When they are unaware of it, they avoid using their rights. It is evident that
this
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 situation occurs more often in developing countries because of poor public
awareness
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. Most young adults,
for instance
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, do not use their
right
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 to
vote
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 in Turkey, accounting for 20%. They are not interested in it because they do not realise the necessity of their rights. One of the main ways to tackle
this
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 issue is to promote public programs. It is a very suitable and valid option to raise
awareness
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 among young individuals. Research reveals that
this
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 method has a significant role in young populations' voting.
For example
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,
this
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 method has been used in Germany, and they have experienced an important increase in
this
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 field. In conclusion, it is a considerable issue that young people often do not tend to use their
right
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 to
vote
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. It has both problems and solutions. Poor knowledge about laws and rights is an example of a problem
,
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apply
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while
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 raising
awareness
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 of them among young adults is an example of a solution

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task achievement
Consider developing your ideas further for a more comprehensive discussion. For example, mention more than just poor public awareness as a reason for young people not voting.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas throughout the essay. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific or diverse examples to strengthen your points. For instance, you could include examples from other countries or different demographics.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which is essential for coherence.
task achievement
You have identified both problems and solutions related to the topic, demonstrating an understanding of the question's requirements.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • democratic process
  • political instability
  • skewed representation
  • governance
  • erosion
  • civic education
  • alienation
  • policy-making
  • accessible
  • incentives
What to do next:
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