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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that distance learning programs can never be as good as traditional, face-to-face education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #distance #programs #education
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In the modern world,
distance
 learning has a variety of effects on society that could have both negative and positive effects on student’s physiological state. I reckon that a crucial number of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 who possess
this
distance
 learning problem.
This
 means that the cons of
distance
 learning are greater than the pros.
To begin
 with, the most significant drawback of
distance
 learning is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the concentration, during the online class teacher should get your consternation and she ought to concentrate
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the lesson. To illustrate,
students
 can easily distracted so the teacher needs to include them back in the lesson.
For instance
, sometimes, we are
nor
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 into some lessons especially ;math, physics or biology so our concretion may
distract
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distracted
show examples
 easily
and
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additionally
 sometimes we don’t want to listen or take notes about these classes.
Besides
, another disadvantage is
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 can’t earn enough money because since
distance
 learning came out
students
 don’t want to go to school.
On the other hand
 , there are some cons to
distance
 learning that ,a variety number
o
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of
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students
particularly
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are particularly
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 passionate about online classes.
In other words
, seeing that there is no need for private home lessons since
the
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apply
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distance
 learning will certainly skyrocket because of online class lovers.
According to
 one of the articles that I read, some experts assume that in the future there will be no
face to face
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face-to-face
show examples
 learning and
students
 will get easily adapted
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to
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this
 system and they don’t need to go to school. In conclusion, I will agree that
distance
 learning has a damaging effect
in
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on
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 society but
also
 online classes rates will absolutely increase over the years
Submitted by haticecoza on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay exhibited a lack of clear organization and logical progression of ideas. To improve, it's essential to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a main idea and subsequent sentences should support that idea with explanations or examples.
task achievement
The response does not fully address the prompt as it fails to directly address the degree to which you agree or disagree with the statement on distance learning. For a stronger essay, ensure that your opinion is clearly stated in the introduction and reiterated in the conclusion, with the body paragraphs focused on supporting your viewpoint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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