IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that success is 10 percent talent and 90 percent hard work. Is hard work now the key to success, or is talent also important? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It has been a remarkable question whether talent or hard work is important. Many people believe that genius is essential.
While
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 others believe vice versa. from my perspective, intelligence is the key factor for success. On the one hand, One of the best ways to explain intelligence is by looking at the scientists who changed the world. They would not be able to invent many things without talent.
For example
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, In history, several inventions were made by scientists like Albert Einstein and Newton who have a particular mental capacity.
Moreover
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, In many fields working hard is not enough, where it requires superior mental abilities,
Such
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 as science, medicine , music and some other fields.
On the other hand
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, There is no doubt that practising and training are essential in some industries like manual work which requires patience and effort until he becomes a master in his craft.
For instance
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, a Blumber worker spends hours regularly learning how to install and repair plumbing until he becomes a well-known worker. If he does not spend time practising, He will forget his skills soon.
Also
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, It is almost impossible to be successful without training. In conclusion, There is a debate about which is more important intelligence or practice. in my point of view, I believe that practising and working faithfully are crucial in some aspects of our lives, But, gifted people are the ones who have the most powerful influence in the world. So, To be able to achieve certain goals you must possess the giftedness.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay requires significant improvement. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea that is developed and expanded upon with supporting sentences. Transition words should be used to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include both an introduction and a conclusion that clearly state your stance on the issue. The introduction sets the stage for your argument, while the conclusion effectively summarizes your points and restates your central thesis.
coherence cohesion
Main points should be supported with detailed examples or data, and arguments should be elaborated on. Rather than merely stating a point, explain why it is relevant to the topic and how it backs up your overall argument.
task achievement
Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the task. Your essay should address the prompt directly, and your argument should be explicitly related to the question asked, not vaguely or tangentially.
task achievement
Ideas need to be expressed more clearly and comprehensively. Make use of a variety of sentence structures and precise vocabulary to accurately convey your thoughts and enhance the readability of your text.
task achievement
While relevant specific examples are good, ensure they are consistently used throughout the essay to substantiate your arguments. Also, aim to vary your examples, using them to illustrate different points in your discussion.
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