Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both there views and give your own opinion.
With the rapid growth of technology, today we are facing a large amount of
data
in many fields, such
as industries, hospitals, governments, etc. Some people
argue that companies and other departments should share every information
they've got, but other citizens believe this
can not be a good attitude, because some data
is important, and also
vulnerable to abuse. While
I understand the concerns of conservative people
, in my point of view, sharing information
is crucial in the contemporary world.
On the one hand, some people
claim that sharing information
may put us in danger or even cost a lot. Firstly
, many governments and private sectors allocate a huge portion of their budgets into researching and gaining information
, sharing this
information
without any costs and expectations isn't worth it. Secondly
, some statistical data
are too sensitive to share, for instance
, it cannot be a good approach to distribute crime-related data
. Lastly
, sharing data
for free will make other companies reluctant to research and pay to gain information
. However
, in my opinion, the benefits of sharing knowledge
and information
outweigh its drawbacks.
On the other hand
, there are many people
that acknowledged sharing information
and data
can be a positive notion. Sharing information
can increase employers' performance and they can reach their goals more quickly, it can benefit both the data
giver and receiver. Also
, sharing knowledge
is a good idea for globalisation, peers in companies can cooperate with each other to access the results faster. At the same time, sharing scientific research has many advantages to the academic world and also
it can increase general knowledge
in many parts of the world.
In conclusion, people
's attitude towards sharing knowledge
is different. While
I understand the drawbacks of sharing knowledge
, I believe that the advantages of sharing information
and knowledge
are more than its negative sides.Submitted by amir1375.6 on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider providing more specific examples that directly relate to sharing information in various sectors. This will enhance the relevance and depth of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next. You could use more linking phrases to better connect your points, making the essay easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and provides a clear indication of your stance, which is well-developed throughout the essay.
complete response
You've presented a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which adds depth to your discussion.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical structure, with separate paragraphs for each main point, making it easy to read and understand.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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