IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Should a city try to preserve its old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

#city #buildings #support
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It is an arguable debate subject whether a city should retain its historical
buildings
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 or replace them with modern ones
while
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 demolishing them. I firmly opine that old structures are an essential part of a country's history, and they should be protected locally. The first and foremost reason is that historical
buildings
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 offer an insight into a country's past. They might play a pivotal role in promulgating cultural and historical values to the world.
That is
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 why, they should be preserved rather than destroyed
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to be replaced with new
buildings
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. To cite an example, Maiden Tower and Icharishahar are located in Baku which is the capital of Azerbaijan. Their importance in exhibiting moral and national values can not be neglectable. For that reason, the president of Azerbaijan, Ilham Aliyev, decided to allocate money each year to protect their ancient. Another reason is that these old
buildings
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, generally, attract tourists, and can open a door to improving the financial status of any country by a flock of
people
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.
While
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 taking old structures that are aesthetically pleasing to the eyes into account,
people
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 are downturned to these
buildings
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.
For instance
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, the Taj Mahal accepts more than 1 million
people
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 each year to show its amazing structure.
This
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 action is a boon to benefit the economy of India as the admission is fee-paying.
To conclude
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, despite a belief that
people
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 deem old structures should be abolished by a municipal of a city, it is undeniable that they have feasible effects in terms of economy and exhibition of cultural values.
Submitted by yusifakhmad on

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coherence cohesion
While your essay maintains basic clarity, the development of ideas and paragraphing could be more sophisticated. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the connection between sentences within a paragraph is smooth. Using a wider range of cohesive devices can enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task, but with a tendency to make general assertions without fully fleshing them out. You are encouraged to extend and support your main ideas more comprehensively with further explanation, detail, and examples where appropriate. Additionally, make sure that the introduction and conclusion are more explicitly reflective of the essay's content and stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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