The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
The line graph illustrates detailed information about the proportion of markets which were closed and the shops which opened
instead
of old ones in a particular country in the years
of
Change preposition
apply
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2011 and 2018.
Overall
,what stands out from the graph is that both
closures
and
openings
fluctuated over the given
period
.The amount of
openings
accounted for the highest rate at the beginning of the
period
covered.Another notable point is that the proportion of
closures
was lowest in 2011,
however
,it increased
at the end
of the
period
. Looking at the details,in 2015,the number of
closures
accounted for around 6500.
Likewise
,these numbers rose dramatically until 2014.
Furthermore
,it declined significantly to about 1500 in 2015.In the next year,the number of
closures
rocketed up to roughly 5100 and it fluctuated until the end of the
period
.
Finally
,
this
data accounted for
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp
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5000 in 2018.
Conversely
,the proportion of shops that opened was high at the beginning at around 8500.
However
,
this
data plummeted to around 4000 in 2012.After these decreases,
openings
increased and in 2014,
this
figure was similar with
closures
at roughly 6000.Another interesting point is that it plunged to 4000 and it only dramatically rose until 2017.The number of
openings
was similar in the years of 2015,2016 and 2017.
Furthermore
,
this
data
also
slightly declined to 3000 in 2018.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore, however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words closures, openings, period with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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